They FINALLY Responded

Okay so the financial aid office finally responded to me. They claim that all the sudden they had a much higher volume of requests and that their response time would be delayed.

THAT WOULD'VE BEEN GREAT TO KNOW 11 DAYS AGO

Like if you know that there are auto-reply emails going out to tell the sender that their request has been received, then maybe update it to say "at this time of year, we get a lot of requests and the response time may be severely delayed" or something along those lines.

Then again......

WHY DID IT TAKE 11 DAYS TO RESPOND? WHY DID IT TAKE UNTIL I SENT A MORE AGGRESSIVE EMAIL IN ORDER TO ELICIT ANY SORT OF RESPONSE??????? THIS SHOULD'VE BEEN TOLD TO ME WITHIN A FEW DAYS, MAYBE EVEN 1 BUSINESS WEEK, BUT NOT 11 CALENDAR DAYS. ESPECIALLY WHEN THE STUPID SYSTEM REQUIRES ME TO FINISH FINANCIAL CHECK-IN BEFORE I'M ALLOWED TO CHOOSE MY HOUSING.

Liberty, your system flat-out sucks. Housing selection should not be restricted to whoever can get the stupid financial aid office to respond first. I get it that maybe not everyone has a 529 Plan to pay for their education, but why did it take so long for anything to let me know that the request has legitimately been received and not some BS "We got your request" auto-reply crap?

LU, you've got some good things going for you, but your management and back-of-house stuff is absolute garbage. Fix yourself.

The Financial Aid Office is COMPLETELY USELESS

The title says it all. Liberty's financial aid office is so slow in their jobs, that they seemingly aren't doing their jobs.

I know this is going to sound aggressive, but hear me out.

So housing choices opened up for me on April 18th. 11 days ago. So naturally I go to complete my Financial Check-In so that I can make my room choice.

I figured to give them a couple of days to respond since I think that day was a Friday and by the time I sent it, it was probably close to closing time and they might not have done anything about it anyways. Fine. I get it. You want to go home on a Friday, so do I.

BUT THEN at least fulfill my request to use my 529 Plan the following Monday

They must've somehow lost my email, but this is frustrating. So yesterday afternoon, I sent them another email in order to remind them and as a follow up to get this moving. I figured they should probably get around to it sometime today, since it is a Monday and it's a work day.

Obviously, they didn't get around to it today. I guess you could say I'm a little impatient, but Open Housing starts tomorrow. It's going to be among my final chances to try to get a room on 25-3, where I would like to be living for next year. Unless I somehow get incredibly lucky and someone leaves at some point during summer break and I can slot in. Any room is fine at this point. I'll adapt to my roommates.

So I sent them a slightly more aggressive email today. I don't expect a response today, but it truly is their fault at this point that I don't have my dorm choice and that I'm not going to be housed anywhere for the current moment.

I have these screenshots in case for whatever reason they decide "oh you didn't complete Financial Check-In on time, so we're going to be applying a late fee and you're going to have to pay for it". But these emails are timestamped with the date and the exact time of day they were sent out. Each time, I've received the auto-reply of "We have received your financial aid request". But the screenshots serve in case they pull a Hillary Clinton and go into my account to delete the emails. I don't know if they would do that, it would be incredibly stupid if they did, but safety precautions are indeed in place now.

JUST DO YOUR JOB AND NO ONE WOULD BE IRRITATED AT THE FACT THAT THEY DON'T HAVE THE DORM THEY WANTED. IT'S NOT THE STUDENT'S FAULT IF YOU DO NOT PLACE THE "PROJECTION" AS YOU CALL IT OVER THE ACCOUNT WHEN THE STUDENT IS JUST FOLLOWING THE PROCEDURE THAT HE HAS FOLLOWED FOR THE PAST 4 SEMESTERS. IS IT REALLY THAT HARD??????????????????

Sorry, I'm just incredibly irritated, upset, aggravated, you name it.

They better get this in order, or they better find some way to compensate me for their lack of intelligence and their lack of action.

Emotion Rollercoaster

So kinda as a follow up to the previous post, I've been riding an emotion rollercoaster all day it would appear. While hiking and hanging out with my friends, I was on almost a cloud nine. It was incredibly fun and I loved every moment of it.

I kept on riding that cloud nine when we went to Cracker Barrel to have dinner together. That was incredibly fun as well.

Except, once dinner ended and we started parting ways, I started feeling a little sad a bit. Read the previous post for more details, but basically the realization that the end of my semester is coming up and potentially the end of my time on my favorite hall (the only hall I've lived on lol, so definitely some bias).

Then I went to East to play volleyball with some hall mates. That was super fun. Even though we didn't win, it was a good distraction from my sadness.

But when I came back, I started feeling the sad again (great grammar, I know). So I watched this week's episode of the Flash. It entertained me for an hour or so.\

However, with that being finished, I'm left to my own devices again, and those waves of sadness keep on coming and they keep on washing over me. I don't want to feel sad. I want to revel in the joy and the happiness and the goodness of all the memories I've made today.

I can't help it though. I don't think I need help necessarily, but this is so strange that I feel this way. Today was an amazing day, and if anything, sure maybe sad that today's events are concluded, but I shouldn't be feeling sad so much. At least not to this degree.

I don't know. Maybe I just need someone reach out to me. To just text me and just have idle conversation with me. I know it may be pointless and there may be better things to do with the time, but I'm all alone in my room. I mean, it'll be fun to do whatever I want since my roommate's on some sort of internship so I get the room to myself.

But with that privilege of my own room, it marks the beginning of the end.

I'm not ready for the end.

I want more time to hang out with my sister dorm.

I just want more.

But I can't get anymore, unfortunately.

Help.

The End Is Always Bittersweet

Today is my last Saturday on campus for my second year of college. While I am more than excited to go home in a week and also (finally) see Endgame, I also am starting to feel spells of sadness.

These sadness spells stems from the fact that I'm going to miss my hall mates, sister dorms, and just all the fun stuff there is to living on campus (more importantly living on the Circle). Before you ask, I am currently unsure of where my housing is going to be for next semester. My Financial Check-In is being really slow and as of right now, I've lost all chances to come back to 25-3.

Part of me is sad that the end of my time on 25-3 is potentially coming up. Part of me is sad because of all the fun things that I'll potentially miss out on because I just won't be a part of this hall. I know that whatever hall I end up on that there will be fun stuff to do, but after living on 25-3 for 2 years in a row, this is my home away from home.

Maybe I'm also a bit saddened that I won't be on the brother dorm of my crush (at the moment). But at the same time, I've been praying over multiple things, regarding my crush, future relationship status in general, and my housing for next semester. I know that whatever hall I end up on is the hall that God wants me to be on, because there is something that He knows will help grow me in some way and make me more like the man He ultimately designed for me to be. I know that I should not worry about my next step in life, or any future steps in life, for as long as I stay faithful and honest with God, He will provide solid ground for me to step on, no matter if I am blind to what the next step even is.

Anyways, the reason the sadness hit me today is not just because it's the last Saturday I'll be here for this semester, but also because I had a beyond amazing time hiking at Devil's Marbleyard and then hitting up the good ol' Cracker Barrel afterwards. I love hanging out with my friends. I didn't want the day to end so soon (day being the entire day's events and stuff, I know I have about 6 hours left in today technically). So I will cherish these memories. I should listen to my past self on one of my Instagram posts in which I stated to cherish everything that is happening to you that makes you happy. You will never know which moment is going to be a part of "the good times", until after those times are gone and you're just stuck wishing you could go back and be in those times again.

Life is an ever-changing and constantly coursing river, and if you don't hold on to what might be precious to you now, you'll regret not enjoying every moment of it before it was gone.

With all that being said, I certainly do hope and partially pray that I will make it back onto 25-3 after Open Housing starts and maybe I can slide into a room here. But I also will trust God in that He will have me live where He knows I will grow the most in order to glorify His kingdom as much as possible, as that is my ultimate plan for my life. To discover how I can contribute to bringing glory to His kingdom.

God, while I may not want to move on, I am ready for You to move me to where I need to be.

Was It The Right Thing To Do?

Okay, so I've been thinking about this a bit today. Let me catch you up to speed.

I went to play some kickball with the sister dorm, and afterwards we grabbed ice cream and just chilled on the fields next to Commons 3 (where we played).

At some point, I heard my crush talking about how she's raising money to get her mom, dad, and brother their own study Bibles. A noble cause, and one that can help glorify His kingdom.

So she was saying that the Bibles could potentially cost a bit more than what she had already raised (which was already like $105 or something). Idk if she was joking or not, but she kinda mentioned that Venmo works or whatever to help her raise more funds. That part's not the important part.

The important part is that before she went with some of the group to Cookout (I think?) I kinda just took out my wallet real fast and gave her $20. I don't know if that was because I truly wanted to give to support her effort, or if I just wanted to, idk, show her something? What was it? No clue. Maybe I just wanted to kinda "go the extra mile" or whatever. I mean on the one hand you could argue that this was mildly selfish to possibly (please note that I have no clue of what actually drove me to giving her money, so what follows are all hypotheticals) just get her to appreciate the gesture. Or was it that God truly said "hey you should help her out in this".

Whatever the case may be, whatever my subconscious was potentially trying or not trying to prove, it's done. Whatever happens is gonna happen. I already prayed to God asking if that was the right thing to do, and if I truly did it because I wanted to give from my heart. I guess I'll just keep praying about it.

Then again, if all else is not true or whatever, what's the harm in helping a friend get their family member's study Bibles?

The Double Edged Sword

Before I begin, let me clarify that I love being with my family. Especially ever since I started college in Fall 2017. Okay, we good?

I had a blast this weekend, getting to be home with the fam to celebrate the resurrection of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ (Easter, for the unaware). It was nice to slow down and just hang out with them, having a catch, watching tv, etc.

At the same time, now that I am back to school to finish these last 11 days, I feel like I shouldn't have gone home for Easter weekend, because now I don't want to school. That's not even great grammar there, but basically, I don't want to do anything other than just go home and relax with my family some more.

But I will do what is asked of me.

I Don't Wanna Get Too Hopeful

I guess I should "warn" you that a lot of my posts will kinda revolve around my rebound crush a bit.

Like I don't know, but I would like to think that there could be a chance it could work. But I don't want to get too excited over anything, in the event that nothing comes out of this other than a friendship.

I don't know what to do. I pray about it, maybe not as much as I should be, but I just haven't heard any answer to the prayers yet. Or am I unconsciously ignoring the answer?

To clarify, I don't pray "please let this girl be my girlfriend". What I do pray is "God if she is the one for me, then in Your timing let things happen, but if she isn't, then take these feelings away from me". The feelings haven't gone away yet. But again, I don't want to get overly hopeful over that.

I guess it doesn't help that the part of me that would get super hopeful over all of this is also getting hopeful a bit that the crush is even rebounding in the first place. Every one of my previous crushes was dropped for good whenever I dropped them. But this one is different. The feelings came back.

What

Do

I

Do?

Yep It's A Rebound

Well, I guess I'm most definitely rebound crushing right now. Last night I kinda dreamt of her. Just like me hanging out with her and before the end of whatever event it was, I asked her for her number so I could text her over the summer.

And then she was also at the worship night tonight. Of course my mind likes to freeze up around whoever I'm crushing on, and I was definitely a little nervous around her.

I mean it would certainly be great to date her. The only thing left for me to do is to keep being myself, and then just pray about this.

The Love/Hate of Exercise/Gym

Over this entire spring semester, I decided to commit to a more regular exercise routine so that I can get into shape for my shodan (1st degree black belt) test in Aikido that's going to be around end of July/beginning of August.

I initially did only 2 workouts per week, each day of just one or two exercises per muscle group, one day of upper body, and one day of legs. Both days would have some running afterwards, so it was a good start to reconditioning my body back into the better physique I once had.

Disclaimer: I never was super buff before, I just was better at cardio and could run 3 miles no problem. Today? I can maybe run 2 miles at a 6 mph pace, but other than that, not really

So while this was a good start to it, I should've increased my difficulty/number of workout sessions a lot sooner. I ended up kinda wasting away 6-7 weeks or so. While I technically have been relatively consistently hitting the gym for this entire semester, I only really count me actually committing to working out for this past month or so.

Around mid-March, I started doing more work out days, and each day would only focus 2 muscle groups, and have more than 2 exercises per group, to increase my strength gain rate and to keep the caloric expenditure higher. I will say that I have indeed noticed my strength go up exponentially since switching to a more rigorous schedule, so if you're struggling to see results, perhaps it's time to kick it up a few notches. I am also not responsible if you injure yourself as a result of kicking it up a notch.

With that being said, this past week has been pretty bad as far as hitting the gym. I got lazy and made excuses for not going. But today I finally pushed myself to go back to the gym to at least get one solid workout session before I head home for Easter since I most likely won't be working out at all, if not barely something.

It's been about 2-3 hours since I concluded today. No cardio today just because of time's sake. I had a bunch of homework to finish before this weekend, and I want to go to a worship night with my hall at 9, of which I'll probably be a little late to.

Anyways, back to the main point. While I temporarily lost motivation to go to the gym this week, I feel rejuvenated and ready to get back onto the workout plan I had going before. I feel strong right now, and I feel good about my body. Of course I have things I want improved, such as increased strength, bigger muscles, lesser fat, but those are all goals I can achieve with a consistent workout schedule.

Oh gym, I love you for making me feel strong and feel good about myself, but I also hate you because it kinda sucks having to not go do something fun like playing video games or watching videos/TV in place of going.

My Best Overwatch Competitive Experience

Last night, my friend and I were just grinding out some competitive matches in Overwatch. It was good, and I actually managed to regain some lost skill rating.

There was this one match where a guy, by the gamertag Burksvart, who didn't contribute much, leading me to fill the tank role (I'm usually a support main, with some flex dps on occasion, I rarely tank competitively). Burksvart played Widow, and didn't get any kills, but luckily the guy he was grouped up with carried the dps.

It came down to round 4 on Junkertown. We made it halfway to completion on round 3, but the enemies rolled us on round 2, so we had a lot of time to defend. They kept using Bastion, so I figured the best way to fight Bastion was with Bastion.

Burksvart went on to be toxic-ish saying "I didn't know Bastion was a tank". So I threw a bit of salt at him, reminding him that Bastion's ult is a tank.

Come end of the match, I managed to get silver damage and silver elims from basically nothing. Burksvart has the nerve to go "you were pretty useless, I carried". He played Mei when he wasn't on Widow. I will admit he did have some well placed walls occasionally, but I did do my fair share to help. I mean we won, so why was he still salty about my Bastion pick? After we won, I said "bAsTiOn Is NoT a TaNk" in team chat. Burksvart replies with "you're so cute when you're toxic".

Next match, we queue up against him, and I got all hyped up to give him what for. We won, so we sucked the SR (skill rating for you non-gamers) right back that we helped him gain. I wanted to throw salt. So I go in match chat and say, "Hey Burksvart, you were pretty useless". He replies with the "you're so cute" thing again.

NEXT MATCH, we get put against him again. So, naturally we had to punish him for his toxicity towards me. It was a close game on Oasis, but we yoinked that W. I went again into match chat and say, "Hey Burksvart, you cutie pie", just basically pulling his line on him. He loses it (kinda). "Omg you're so obsessed, just stop".

While I guess you could argue I shouldn't have teased him so much after beating him 2-0, he kinda deserved it for questioning my Bastion pick that helped us win.

It was incredibly fun. Some of the most fun I've had in Overwatch in a long time. I haven't played this game much for months, so this is a warm welcome back to the competitive scene, at least for a casual player like myself.

It's Not Even Arrow Anymore

The CW knows how to turn shows into forcing a political agenda. I mean I guess every TV show or movie can do that to an extent. But it's beyond forced for some of these.

I can understand that it's good to give people of either (lots of emphasis on "either" because there only are 2 genders, the rest are mental delusions) gender someone or something to look up to. For example, as a guy, I look up to Batman because he's a superhero that is really just a man doing what's right and defending the weak. That's admirable. Or for girls, you have Wonder Woman, doing something similar to Batman, just because a female figure who is strong and powerful and again defends the weak.

But when you turn a TV show that's originally about the Green Arrow into a show where the entire episode is focused on only female characters with just a few moments of Green Arrow, why do you still call it "Arrow"? Not to mention that the most recent episode of Arrow (Ep. 718 "Lost Canary") had a portion that repeatedly talked about giving "women" something to believe in, or whatever. It is extremely clear that they wanted to make this episode all about women empowerment.

I get that typically women get the shaft (so to speak) when it comes to strong and powerful characters, but to force things like women empowerment is just so dumb. Why can't we separate politics from entertainment? Why do we have to have liberal agendas there? I'm not advocating for conservative agendas to be in there, but just don't put any politics into the shows.

No Light, Good Light?

I usually like to open the blinds if it's sunny outside, just to let a bunch of natural light into the room since typically the room is kept darker what with the LED light strip we mainly use for lighting.

But for whatever reason, my roommate likes to keep closing the blinds? I can understand if it's because the sunlight wakes you up, but today he closed them after getting up anyways? I don't get it.

It is what it is. I'll just leave them wide open 24/7 when he's gone for whatever internship or something he has coming up. That's literally the last full week I'll be here, so I'll enjoy the sunlight and the solitude.

Summer break can't come any quicker.

Trololololol

How's this for a meme?

A fan of Marvel, but not of DC? Or vice versa, a fan of DC, but not of Marvel?

I guess this would definitely trigger you then. Crossing Spider-man and Shazam.

Honestly, I just had fun making this meme after the idea came to me earlier today. I'm glad that blogs allow for gifs. Better than nothing so that I can post this here.

Also, I don't get why it's always "you have to be a fan of Marvel OR DC. You can't be both.

Like, that's just really unnecessary. I'm a fan of both. Sure I lean more towards DC because of the Batman, but I would most likely choose a Marvel movie over DC, just because whoever makes the DC movies haven't really established what they want, and they try too hard to be extremely different from the MCU.

The Orange Vanilla Thanos

Okay so I recently discovered (by recently I mean like end of spring break 2019) that orange soda (whether it's flavoring or just orange soda; so either like Orange Coke or Fanta) and vanilla flavoring (same as the orange, but I guess the alternative of flavoring would be cream soda? Idk) tastes almost exactly like one of my favorite sodas I discovered at Cracker Barrel.

Said soda being Stewart's Orange 'n' Cream soda.

So whenever I'm at North, just having my usual SubCo (lol), I would try to recreate the mixture since for whatever reason the Coke Freestyle machines don't show the option in the Coke Zero section. I'd get it pretty close, if not almost perfect.

Then today, there was an option that is on some sort of rotation with other options on the main screen, and it had the official orange vanilla flavor.

So naturally I hit that instead of trying to eyeball the mixture. And of course it's perfect with how it was designed and meant to be.

I take the first sip and think to myself, "perfectly balanced, as all things should be".

Idk why a lot of my thoughts are movie quotes. Typically it's a lot of Batman quotes from the legendary trilogy that Christopher Nolan directed, but then you have various, miscellaneous quotes.

If you're this far in this post, you just read an entire post that led up to me quoting Thanos after drinking soda.

Dread it. Run from it. Destiny still arrives ;)

The Only Warning

Whoever keeps on trying to impersonate me and submitting LU Crushes posts using my name needs to stop and resolve whatever problem you have with me, one on one. It's not cool for you to be writing all of these nonsensical posts about me, and if I find out who you are, you're going to get a rough and stern talking to. You also need to grow up.

Keep Hitting the Grind

Ngl, there are some days I just don't want to work out. Even yesterday, I skipped my chest/back workout because my jaw was being weird and allergies weren't helping either.

And now that I know over 3 sets, I can run through 75 push ups, I try to force myself through it, even though the ends of each set (30, 30, 15) can be exhausting and really tempting to just quit. I need to acclimate my body to the workload. It's good strength gains and good endurance gains.

I just wish I were as enthusiastic about my academics as I am about my fitness....

Does It Make Me Weak?

I know that I like to pride myself on my strength.

I mean it feels good to think I'm strong after hitting the gym. Or that I can be strong like my favorite superhero, Batman.

But then I'm emotionally weak.

I let some anon raise my hopes and leave me hanging, making me wonder if those LU Crushes posts about me this week were fakes.

Maybe it's because I've not had a date ever in my life, and I'll be 20 in the next few months.

I just feel this longing for something.

I guess that something is a longing for someone to love me.

I know I should just love myself and know that the Lord loves me, and that should be good enough.

But I just want to have a girl to love, and for that girl to love me.

Does this longing and easiness to get hurt when my emotions are toyed with make me weak?

Am I weak?

If so, why am I so weak?

I don't want to be weak.

But I guess I am.

I Won't Do This Anymore

Why do people write LU Crushes posts about me (ones that I know aren't my friends putting fake posts just to draw attention to me), and then when I try to get them to message me or come clean so that maybe something can come from it, no one does anything?

Like I probably shouldn't be so upset about this, but it just hurts almost as much as rejection to have my hopes brought up just to be left with nothing and then the realization that no one is actually crushing on me. Like a cold dagger in the back.

The next time I get an LU Crushes post, I'm just not going to think twice about it.

Maybe when I put myself on the No Post List in about a week, I'll never take myself off of it, because no one will come clean anyways, so there's no point to expose myself and my feelings just to be let down and feel hurt.

How To Organize My Drive

Okay so in my Google Drive, I have a folder marked as "Decade (2010-2020)". So when it's 2020 (next year HOLY MOLY HOW IS IT ONLY NEXT YEAR TO BE THE END OF THE 2ND FULL DECADE I'VE LIVED?????) do I put the 2020 folder (I make a folder for any given year and at the end of the year, I naturally shove everything in there), into the 2010-2020 decade folder when 2021 comes around?

Or is the last folder that goes into the aforementioned (look at me and my BIG English vocabulary lol) decade folder is 2019, and then 2020 would be in the next decade folder (naturally "Decade 2020-2030")?

I know I got time to figure out how I want to do this, but honestly I'm not going to be thinking about this too much between now and the end of 2020 (even though that's well over 1 year and 8 months) and then I'll be just as confused when that day comes.

The Beginning of a Legend

It has been created.

This is its beginning.

There's no stopping it now.

I don't know what will come from it.

Here's to the start of something new.

Keep your eyes peeled.

If You Need a Refuge, I'll Be Right Here

I don't want to assume I know everything. Because I don't. I'm not God. I'll never be.

But what I can be is a shoulder to cry on. Someone to look to for help or assistance. A person who will try his very best to help you get through it. It's all a part of my nature.

So to anyone who reads this and needs someone to talk to, I'll be right here.

Never fear that I'll leave you. I won't.

Just please reach out and don't do anything reckless.

Suit Up

I've been thinking of maybe creating a symbol to look to

Something incorruptible.....

Something everlasting.....

I am the Knightmare (Long read & Strategies)

Okay so maybe that title's a little confusing.

Basically, it's just a nickname I'm using in my chat with my friend simply because I beat Arkham Knight's New Game+ mode, which is permanently locked on Knightmare difficulty.

I just thought that it was a cool nickname, and also it's Batman related lol.

For those who've not played any of the Arkham games before, assuming you play Normal (I don't remember if there's an Easy, but all games I play are Normal or harder because I'm no gaming casual), the enemies hit a decent amount of damage, but can go down pretty quickly in a flurry of attacks from you (the Batman). There's also an indicator that looks like a blue jagged arc that indicates when an enemy is about to hit (or yellow if they are attacking with a blade, or red if you can't counter it). That indicator tells you when to counter the attack to take no damage, and to potentially hit them back to take them down.

On Knightmare difficulty, everything is a lot harder and it makes you really feel like the Batman. I'm not kidding. You actually have to be aware of everything. Enemies hit super hard, and are basically damage sponges in that they tank a lot before you can take them down. I don't know the exact damage values nor the amount of attacks a normal enemy takes, but a brute (a big ol' fella who hits like a truck and is almost as big as one lol) takes a stun (from the cape) and then a beatdown, usually around 10 hits, assuming you're on Normal difficulty. Knightmare difficulty requires 20+ hits, and if there's other people around you, they can interrupt your flurry of attacks by hitting you, giving the brute a chance to recover from the stun.

Oh and if that weren't bad enough, they remove all indicators to counter or dodge. So you have to watch the movements of the enemies. See who's throwing a punch, or getting ready to throw one.

This difficulty also forces you to be strategic. By a huge margin more than Normal. You always want to perch above the group and plan out your attack. Primarily using the Disruptor gadget to eliminate medic's abilities to charge up an enemy (so that you get shocked and effectively can't hit the enemy initially, unless you Batclaw them to remove the charge), or that it incapacitates them when they try resuscitating a fallen ally of theirs. You'd also want to disable stun sticks, sentry guns, and detective mode detectors.

Side note: I'd highly suggest using the freeze bomb on any brutes around you. I think you can only freeze one at a time unless you cluster freeze, but I think clusters also stay frozen for a shorter period of time. But one less brute to worry about is better than nothing. Please note that freezes can be undone if you accidentally hit the guy or if you counter throw another guy into them. Also cape stuns break the freeze as well.

HUGE HELP: Make sure to utilize stealth as much as possible to shrink the crowd you're fighting, and to recharge your Fear Multi-Takedown ability. 5 less people in the fight make a huge difference.

Honestly, I have no idea why I wrote such a descriptive thing, giving strategies as well to beating Knightmare mode, but I also wanted to explain it to people who may not have played these games so that they can understand that it was no cake walk to beat this game. There were moments I was frustrated in the progress I made in one fight, just to be taken down and having to reset because there wasn't a checkpoint, and the fights are bad enough as it is.

The point of all this is, that I beat a tough game mode, and I'm really happy I did. It took me way shorter than I originally anticipated, so part of me wonders if it was actually that hard, or if it was because I'm just good at games. Also part of me knew exactly how to navigate the game because I played the Normal difficulty before it (you have to beat the regular game in order to unlock New Game+).

Here's a screenshot of my snapchat story, displaying the 100% on the campaign story in Arkham Knight. In total for New Game+, I'm only 80.5% done with everything. I'll probably be rounding that up a bit and finishing more side objectives, but to 100% the entire game is gonna be tedious because of how many stupid Riddler trophies there are and that you cannot finish the game without collecting all 243 of them or however many there are.

Also, that Batman Beyond sticker is just him goofing around and dancing. I would've uploaded the video, but I don't think blogs allow for video, so this is as good as it's gonna get.

The Curse of Hailing Rides

In this day and age, we so willingly trust some random person to come pick us up through an app. While it helps keep people safe in place of them driving drunk or otherwise incapacitated, it simultaneously normalized just hopping into random cars without a second thought. There was a story that was brought to my attention in which unfortunately a 21 year old girl met her demise for getting into the wrong car. One that was not affiliated with Uber or Lyft (it didn't say which service she used).

My better half of my mind is saddened to hear this tragic news. It's never a good thing to hear about a (presumably) innocent person getting murdered. Well, it doesn't matter if they are innocent or not, murder shouldn't be the way one ends up going out of this world.

At the same time, the more cynical part of my mind is wondering how this happened? The service tells you the make, model, color, and license plate of the vehicle coming to pick you up. All it takes is a split second to do a walk around the car and at least match the make and model. Color should be obvious, and you can scrutinize the license plate later if you feel it necessary.

I don't know every detail of the story and I know I shouldn't be so negative in this situation, because regardless of what the circumstances are or what the whole story is, someone got murdered and that's the end of a life, which is majorly unfortunate. All I can hope is that this girl knew who her Savior is, and then just to pray for the family who lost their young (21 is still really young) daughter.

I'm Not My Type

I've had a few friends tell me that I'm not bad-looking. I'm not sure if that's just because I consistently say that I don't think I look good, and that they're being good friends to tell me otherwise. Or if that it's truly the case.

Then again, I've heard from some anon on the interwebs that "perhaps you don't like your looks because you're not your type". And that kinda resonates with me.

Maybe I don't like the way I look or just think I am not good looking because I couldn't get into a relationship with someone who looks exactly like me (first of all, that'd be weird). Secondly, it hits home because I also remember that Asians aren't my type lol. So naturally, me being Asian isn't going to be like "hey you look good today, Geoff".

So I guess I just gotta trust that my friends are speaking the truth and that I'm decent looking.

Guess we'll see where this goes.

Rebound Shot

I know I'm claiming on working on my singleness. I know I've got a lot of things to work on to mature into the man I'm supposed to be (and hopefully husband and father to someone some day). I also know that I'll never be perfect and no matter what I do that I'll never be perfect, but I know I can try my best to get as close to perfection as possible.

Where am I going with all this, you may ask? Well sit down, grab some popcorn, and enjoy the show.... or the read, I guess.

Last semester, it took some time, but I dropped a crush on some girl out of my league, but also because she'd never talk to me for whatever reason (despite being classmates once). I figured to myself that I'd finally just not worry about crushing on some cute or pretty girl for awhile.

That worked for a chunk of time, say maybe a couple to a few weeks? Then I made a last minute decision to go to Scaremare.

To shorten the story and not share too many details (although if you know me or were around me for a good chunk of time, you know the entire story anyways), basically I met a girl and (kinda) befriended her and crushed on her for a few months.

Come January 2019, through misperceptions, I decided to not actively pursue this girl. I mean I still had feelings for her, but I didn't really know her that well, so I couldn't technically make the best decisions on whether or not she could be for me. I mean she's got the heart of God and is strongly rooted in her faith, and she's super kind, so that's all good stuff anyways.

So for two and a half months, I didn't do much, and the feelings were suppressed. Notice I didn't say the feelings disappeared. I stopped and I wondered to myself if I truly don't have a crush on her or not.

Evidently, the answer was I did still have a crush on her.

Not that that is a bad thing. But I'm wondering why? Why do I still have a crush on her after all this time? I've never had a "rebound" crush before. Once I get the message that a relationship is not happening, I typically drop it and never say a word or have a thought about. Keyword being typically.

I don't see it as a bad thing, but I don't know if it's the right thing right now.

Given the few qualities I already mentioned, she would be a beyond great person to be with, but I just don't know if I should be crushing on her still. I guess I can pray about it and see where it goes. I just gotta ignore the part of me that will try to argue "oh well if God let this crush still be a thing in your mind then there must be something". I know my mind is going to do that.

I guess if you made it all the way down here, pray for me about it? I know it's a strange prayer request, but I could use as much as I can get as far as this is concerned. And also to have prayer that is not clouded by hopefulness and longingness for something that may or may not come to fruition.

What Did It Cost?

So some of you who might be checking this blog kinda on the regular, or often enough to read and catch up, know that just over a week ago, I had a moment of relative depression. And through all that anger at myself, I lashed out at friends and cast myself out from the friend group.

From what I hear, they have forgiven my lashing out and they (apparently) ask my former roommate (he moved off lol) if I'm doing well. I'd like to move on and try to rebuild those friendships, but at the same time, I don't feel like I deserve to. I was the one who took my anger out on them, and was just being a total jerk to them. I know that, assuming it's true, they forgave what I did, but even knowing that, I feel that it's not enough for me to realize that the severity of my actions have.

I know that lashing out through words isn't the be all end all of worst things to do to someone, but I also need to teach myself that not everyone I begin a relationship (friends here, but it could apply to a romantic relationship as well) will be as forgiving to me if I were to lash out. How can I ever claim to begin maturing if I have moments like this, and just move on without learning from my mistakes?

So, the question has to be asked: what did it cost for me to learn this?

Was it worth the price?

Do I move on so soon?

Will I ever learn?

THE TREES

One of my funniest jokes I've managed to just quickfire out was a couple of weeks ago. For whatever reason (I know the actual reason, but am choosing to not disclose that information) we were pulling a ton of napkins out of a dispenser at the rot. One of the people there started exclaiming we were wasting napkins, to which another replies "the trees! The trees!"

The joke?

I respond with, "THEY SPEAK VIETNAMESE!!!!"

Thank you, I'll be here all day and all night. Tips are appreciated. Cash, PayPal, or Venmo works fine.

Sometimes You Wonder

A lot of times, I'm left wondering how in the world will I ever hear the Lord speak to me. I mean I am not really the most intentional about my faith, and I have made a few attempts, but still not enough to really push me into it. But I am beginning to learn how He speaks to me.

I've kinda learned on what interests me in what to do in my career, and I think that could've been the Lord speaking through my mom. She was asking me what I wanted to do with my life while we were driving to Wheeling, WV for a for KING & COUNTRY concert. She also had said she heard from my dad that I said I might be interested in physical therapy (that sentence was confusing, but basically my mom heard from my dad, who apparently heard from me).

Now my memory has its moments. Through practice, I was able to learn 40+ pages of music, and all the scales, chords, arpeggios, in every single key on the piano. So my memory clearly isn't lacking. Although there are moments in which I don't recall doing or saying something. So perhaps I said I'm interested in physical therapy, but I don't recall saying it.

Then sometimes I get told to read a verse or passage in the Bible from a friend, and at first I'm thinking "well okay this friend wants me to read this", to later realizing that it's something I needed to read.

Or other times I hear it through worship songs that for the longest time I saw as purely worship songs. Going back to this past Friday, I broke down to the Cory Asbury's "Reckless Love". Initially I didn't want to hear that song as often because it seemed like almost every convo last semester that the worship collective was playing it. It's a good song, but I guess I was kinda tired of hearing it so much without any variation to the song selections. But then, whether you want to call it ironically or as a movement of the Lord, I managed to break through my spell of depression (okay I feel a little uncomfortable calling it depression since it was only hitting me for a few days, and typically you can only be diagnosed with depression after 6 months of the symptoms, but let's just say I was going to dark places). The point is that I never broke down during worship, yet the Lord knew exactly what I needed and provided for me as He has always done.

Then other times, I've noticed that the Lord has used me as a way to convey that He is still there through me. I won't share every detail, but basically a friend texted me and I managed to say the right things to encourage that friend. I don't want to take any credit for it, but I bring it up because I am amazed that even for a guy who is very new in being intentional with his faith, that the Lord can use him.

Finally the last thing that I want to bring up about the Lord speaking to me was through an instagram story of a person I may or may not be interested in (lol). Said person posted a quote from Morgan Harper Nichols that was basically saying to keep on trusting in the Lord, no matter if the path gets rough, or ends up being a longer path than originally anticipated. And given what I thought was the end of my world last week, what with how I haven't been doing well academically and just overall feeling lost, it renewed me through a reminder that no matter what I go through, as long as I trust in the Lord and seek after Him with the purest of intention, I can get through anything, and that there is something out there on the other side of what I'm going through.

Hopefully this all makes sense.

The Things I'm Good At

Heads up, this is a mild sad boi post, but here we go.

I'm pretty good at a few things. I'm good at counting calories, playing piano, playing video games, driving manual shift, singing along to songs.

I'm also (unfortunately) good at pushing people away.

I sometimes complain about my lack of lots of friends. Then I realize, I had the opportunity to have more friends, but thanks to my short temper and high aggression or rage that is tied into a personality like that, I very easily push those people away.

My only friends these days are people who brave the fires that I spit when I'm being aggressive.

It's saddening, but I did it to myself, and I need to learn that people are not something you can just throw away. Especially friends. Even more especially (is that proper English?) the fact that this world is full of so much negativity and a lot of people antagonizing one another that why can't we just hold onto the good things like friends?

I get it that sometimes you need to push some people away for your own sake, but I've pushed away too many people who haven't deserved it.

To anyone who I've pushed away and know that I did so out of anger or rage, I'm sorry.

I'm not going to ask to be your friend again, because I don't deserve that, and neither do I deserve your forgiveness for my rage-induced outburst. But I will ask of you (assuming you read this) that you accept my apology.

I won't have any way of knowing who does or doesn't accept my apology, but this is the only means I have on contacting some of these people.