The Things I'm Good At

Heads up, this is a mild sad boi post, but here we go.

I'm pretty good at a few things. I'm good at counting calories, playing piano, playing video games, driving manual shift, singing along to songs.

I'm also (unfortunately) good at pushing people away.

I sometimes complain about my lack of lots of friends. Then I realize, I had the opportunity to have more friends, but thanks to my short temper and high aggression or rage that is tied into a personality like that, I very easily push those people away.

My only friends these days are people who brave the fires that I spit when I'm being aggressive.

It's saddening, but I did it to myself, and I need to learn that people are not something you can just throw away. Especially friends. Even more especially (is that proper English?) the fact that this world is full of so much negativity and a lot of people antagonizing one another that why can't we just hold onto the good things like friends?

I get it that sometimes you need to push some people away for your own sake, but I've pushed away too many people who haven't deserved it.

To anyone who I've pushed away and know that I did so out of anger or rage, I'm sorry.

I'm not going to ask to be your friend again, because I don't deserve that, and neither do I deserve your forgiveness for my rage-induced outburst. But I will ask of you (assuming you read this) that you accept my apology.

I won't have any way of knowing who does or doesn't accept my apology, but this is the only means I have on contacting some of these people.