Oh The Irony

When I state what I'm about to write, know that I have done this myself, and I am a bit ashamed of it, but what's done is done, the past cannot be changed now. To dwell on it would lead to an eventual cycle of depression. Or something like that. I don't know, I saw it somewhere. The quote went: "If you're stuck in the past, you're depressed. If you're afraid of the future, you're anxious. Live in the present, and be happy". Or something like that haha.

ANYWAYS. Life goes on, and so this post must as well.

Imagine being called out for your past behaviors of blocking people when they disagree with you, but then end up being blocked because you disagreed with someone else? Like I said, I speak from experience. I used to block people when they were perceived as being against me. So I know what it's like to be the instigator (assuming that's the right term).

But imagine being blocked not because there was a falling out or some sort of disagreement, but because you weren't allowed to have fun.

What I'm saying is that I got blocked by someone because I made a joke and referenced Skyrim, and since it wasn't Goat Simulator, oh whoop dee doo, I'm wrong and deserve to be blocked because of it.

I have to be careful with my words mostly because someone's almost indefinitely going to be like "Geoff, you blocked us when we disagreed with you", but here's the thing: there was no disagreement, only a restriction and boo's because my joke didn't go along with the other person's joke.

So that's the tea, I guess.

It's ironic because I'm the only one who is at fault for blocking people, but then when others do it, no big deal. And sure it's because I had a history of blocking more than once, but to do it over a joke? Not even a legitimate falling out? Even though I legitimately did nothing wrong here? After the times I offered to be someone to talk to because it appeared that no one else acknowledged you in your state of hurt?

But okay. If this is meant to be, then I guess it was nice and fun to be your friend for a few months. But I guess if you want to cut me out of your life, that's fine. You can do whatever you want. You're an adult.

Just don't think the door is still open if you need someone to talk to. Not that you probably would've talked to me about your problems anyways. All I'm saying that it's always good to have more people to be able to talk to, rather than cut out the people who offered help, especially when it's all because of joke.

A joke about goats. And Skyrim. And because it wasn't Goat Simulator. And (presumably) because you didn't like my "angry" reacts (I mean Facebook doesn't have a downvote/dislike react so "angry" is as close as it gets) to your comments shutting down my comment, even though there were "angry" reacts to my comment about Skyrim.

Sure it's only me that is in the wrong here. Okay.

And if you're reading this and wondering who I'm referencing, well I'm not going to write out names here, because it's bad enough that I'm writing this post. But for the one person that (probably) still reads my blog (and probably the only person that reads it, or at least has claimed to read it over the summer to see what I'm up to since I had this person blocked because of my immaturity back then), it's your best friend, or at least the one you made an instagram post about not too long ago, stating that everyone needs someone like your friend, but it can't be your friend because you already claimed said person.

So to wrap things up, while I'm nowhere near innocent of the whole blocking ordeal, just don't make it seem like it's only me who blocks others when things are not in favor of me. And sure you can always say "how does it feel to be on the receiving end of things", and you deserve that right. But just know that the others you hold so close to you aren't as perfect as you might have thought they were.

Rant over, we'll see if this person decides to let me back into their life or not. If not, oh well, I have other friends too. If they do, I'll try to pretend like this incident didn't happen, but alas, here we are.

Hold up, this whole operation was your idea

My room on the circle had an open bed for the past week. No one moved in because my third guy made like Spider-man in Infinity War. So it was kinda nice to have only one roommate.

But then of course as I was trying to get my friend who wanted to be on the circle, it all the sudden gets filled up by someone.

I don't mind having the extra roommate, I'm just upset that LU did nothing to notify me or my current roommate about the new guy. It would've been nice to know, so that I didn't get my friend's hopes up of trying to bring him back to the hall he couldn't get back onto.

LU, get your stuff together and learn how to run everything smoothly with crisp and crystal clear communication to your students. You'd have a lot less complaints and an overall better on-campus experience. There's a lot of other issues that need to be solved to improve the happiness of the student body, but that's again something for another time.

I guess here goes to meeting this new guy and learning how to say his name. He said something, but I butchered pronunciation. It's definitely some ethnic name. It's cool and all, but I'd really like to learn it properly. I don't feel comfortable not properly knowing my roommate's name and making him resort to my butchering for a year, assuming he stays here for this semester and next.

Great Idea, Except Execution Was Horrible

Look, I'm going to end up sounding cynical as heck, or highly judgmental, but let me write this out.

I have THEO 201 on Tuesdays and Thursday from 9:45 to 10:35. I get it that we're learning about theology and it all relates back to God and everything.

I also understand that you'd want to make sure to pray to God on a daily basis, because that's how we can communicate and just talk to God. Great idea. I should be praying way more than I do now, but that's a story for another time.

To further build this up, when the class is quiet to listen to the professor to be able to take good notes for any upcoming assignments and tests, it's very easy to get distracted by someone whispering. And at first you figure, okay a little bit of whispering is no big deal. But if that whispering goes on and on and does not stop, and when you turn and look, and the guy isn't even writing any notes down, you begin to wonder what is going on, and why there is so much whispering.

Okay, okay, before I go further, this is when the cynicism kicks in. I hope I'm using that word correctly, because I'm just too lazy to Google the definition, but I think it's being used correctly.

This guy was straight up having his quiet time with God all class period long.

Like I originally said, having quiet time is almost essential (well if I'm being honest, it definitely is, I'm just not fulfilling it myself). But come on,.my dude! Class time is not the time to do that! I mean if you want to spend class praying to God instead of taking notes, by all means, but don't be whispering your prayer out loud! Also don't be praying for wisdom and knowledge for the class you're sitting in, when you can literally take notes instead!

When I do have my rare quiet times with God, if I'm in public, so basically anywhere that's not my room, I'll admit I might whisper it out, but if there are other people around (and maybe this is because I'm self-conscious), but I shift it from a whisper into thoughts. So I don't actually say it, but I think it works the same. Correct me if I'm wrong, but devoting time is still devoting time, right? I mean I'm sure God can hear me whether I physically say it, or mentally say it.

With all that being said, I guess from now on (these eyes won't be blinded by the lights) side note: sorry for the Greatest Showman reference, I just finished watching it in CINE 101 yesterday, so all the songs are stuck in my head, but at least they're good songs, I suppose I'll just have to make sure to not sit near the guy anymore. I mean I just picked what seemed to be an okay seat to me, but I guess I learned from it.

So yes, while it's bad I'm being this harsh, can you understand my side of it? I'm trying to pay attention and take notes, and it doesn't help when some guy decides to whisper out his class-long prayers.

Losing Steam

So for those of you who have stuck around for awhile would know that I'm pretty into training and physical fitness. So much so that I felt really good about a week ago when I hit a new PR on bench for a 1 rep max of bodyweight (190 lbs).

But for some reason, today, I just don't feel like going to the gym. Although I'm already getting thoughts of "I want to go to the gym" or "why did I not go to the gym".

Because when I go to the gym, I not only do strength training, but I also like to run, or do some form of steady state cardio.

Right at this moment, I don't feel like it, but I know that if I don't go, I'll also regret not going. I kinda want to walk up to North to go work out, but I also don't want to.

I have all my stuff packed and ready for the gym, so I don't know why I'm sitting here in my dorm, writing this post instead of pumping iron.

I guess I just don't really want to do cardio, but also know that I'll feel a bit bad if I don't do cardio too. What do I do?

The Beginning

So I guess technically the title is wrong. The beginning was truly on Monday. But from an overall standpoint, this is indeed the beginning. Shall I explain?

Okay, so tonight I went to lift weights with my friend again. And then once again, we began training in some Aikido. I guess since I didn't document it the other night (or did I?) I lifted weights with this same friend on Monday night and then I began his training, showing him some basics and some fun stuff that you can do with Aikido.

This time, however, instead of just doing open hand techniques, we did some weapons training. To be more specific, we trained with bokkens, which are wooden training swords, made in the katana style. It was fun to be able to use weapons again, as I have recently discovered a passion for Aikido, perhaps because of my new rank, but regardless, it always felt good to have a sword in hand, even if it's wooden.

Tonight was very productive, and there were a couple of people who approached us and inquired about what we were doing. I told them I was trying to start a club to train others and as many as are willing in Aikido, and while I'm not sure if they'll follow through, perhaps they will consider it.

Anyways, to wrap things up because I'm too tired to think (it's 12:08 a.m.) I'll leave a short video below (assuming it works) of my friend and I doing a training exercise called "kirikaeshi".

Kaishi

Okay so it's been decided. My sunuke bokken will from now on be referred to as Kaishi. My friend thought it was a nifty idea. Well he technically said "...it sounds cool! I'd say go for it!"

So I ran the translation by my Japanese friend, to which she said that "kaishi" is the term used for the beginning of something, whereas "shiki" is for a celebration standpoint (since the term I was trying to translate was "commencement").

Naturally, I stuck with the results I found because this bokken is to symbolize the beginning of something great. Something that potentially will be greater than myself some day. How will that happen? I have no clue. All I know is that this is one small part in a grand scheme if instructing aikido is in my future, or even my calling.

Okay, Kaishi. Your debut is tomorrow evening, assuming everything is still going according to plan.

Potential Name

I've come up with a potential name I could give to my sunuke bokken.

The main reason I want to name it is so that I can have a quicker and more meaningful way to refer to it rather than merely "sunuke bokken". Not like there's anything wrong with referring to it as that, but it just seems so plain and lazy to identify it by the type of wood it is, followed by the Japanese term for "wooden sword".

Here's my idea. To call it "Kaishi". While I did indeed use Google Translate (which has historically proven to not be the best of translators out there), I was just running ideas through my mind. If I end up using this name, I might run it by a Japanese friend of mine, for confirmation if this is indeed accurate.

In case you're wondering, here's my rationale for naming my sword. I know that typically swords are only given names if they are "shinken", or "live" swords, a.k.a. they are real, sharpened metal katanas. I suppose any sword of any kind can be named, like the fabled Excalibur, but I figured that no other culture is really using swords anymore. Let me also run you through my thought process when I was getting this new bokken:

1. I wanted a new bokken, not because I needed one, but because I just felt like I wanted something to call my own. I've been using a set of weapons that my dad got years ago, and I've used it consistently enough and he has other sets, that the set I used is basically mine.
1. So basically, I just wanted something for myself, not that I necessarily needed it.
2. This new bokken was bought mostly because I was incredibly proud of myself for passing my black belt test well enough that many people had thought I had done a really good job, and even the high ranking instructors who administered the test thought I did well.
1. The bokken also can now be used to teach others in partner work, and I can demonstrate easier since I don't have to hand off the bokken in order to illustrate an idea and watch whoever I train practice. But this was a side objective, not the main focus.
3. I want to give this a name because it is incredibly special to me (and it cost me a good chunk of change), especially since I refer to my older bokken as "Old Faithful" (because of it's long standing durability over the past several years)

So why the Japanese translation of "commencement"? Well because passing my black belt test was the commencement of my time as a "yudansha" (Japanese term for someone who holds a black belt), and since it was kind of like graduating from the rank of "yukyusha" (a kyu is a rank used prior to black belt. In aikido, we most commonly have 5 kyu ranks. You start at 5th, and descend until you get to 1st, then you have your shodan, or black belt test).

Lastly, Kaishi is a very short name, at least the Japanese pronunciation is (I mean it's literally 2 syllables). It rolls off the tongue pretty well, and is not a super flamboyant or obnoxious name. It's not "World Destroyer", or "Evil Punisher", or whatever drastic name you can think of. It's (I believe) on the humble side for a name, and nothing that could appear arrogant in any way.

I texted my one friend who has begun his training, well one hour of it anyways, and I'll see if he thinks it's weird or not to name my weapons. If he says it's good, I suppose I'll take that as good enough.

#boycottSony Is Useless

Hi.

So apparently, Marvel/Disney was seeking to take a large portion of profits from all future Spiderman films. I've seen numbers of about 50%, which is a huge chunk. Almost majority, at least in terms of ownership.

While Spiderman is indeed a Marvel character, the rights for movies is still owned by Sony. Hence the whole hashtag. In case you missed it, there's an internet war, of sorts, because everyone's upset that Sony decided to remove Spiderman from the MCU because of the demands that Disney was making as far as profits go in order to keep Spiderman in the MCU.

Thus, #boycottSony was born.

I get it. It's upsetting that a beloved character is being removed from the grand storyline of the Avengers and the universe in which multitudes of amazing heroes and great stories (except Captain Marvel) exist. And it's a double blow because everyone really loves Tom Holland as the Spiderman.

But to boycott the entire company? That's a bit extreme.

To apply something similar in my life and my likes, I should be boycotting DC when Ben Affleck stepped down from writing the next Batman film and also stepped away from donning the cowl again, leading to Matt Reeves taking over "The Batman", and casting Robert Pattinson, a debatable poor decision, but I'll give Robert a shot.

I was indeed saddened that Ben wasn't going to be Batman again. I thought he did Batman really well. Had the right body figure, and the right mannerisms for a Dark Knight. And especially so because he recently released his ideas of what he would've done for the movie. He was going to send Batman to Arkham Asylum. Now if that's not cool, then I don't know what is. We haven't had a cinematic, live action Arkham Asylum yet (as far as I know, but even if we did, it's nothing new and recent) Disclaimer: I say that because while I have watched every Batman film out there, I don't exactly remember all the details of the older ones, and whether or not Arkham Asylum explicitly exists or not.

Anyways, let's not just get all upset and throw fire at Sony. They're running a multi-billion dollar company, and naturally as an entrepreneur and business owner, they want to make as much money as they can, while also trying to please their audiences. I don't blame them for not wanting to give up half the profit. That's a bit steep. Come down to maybe a 60/40 split, and maybe we'll talk, but I'm not sacrificing so much.

That's all I have to say about this dumb hashtag for now, so I guess we'll see if social media and their hashtags have any power to sway large companies to bend to their will.


P.S. While writing this post, every time I wrote "Spiderman", the red squiggly underline appeared, to tell me that that's not how you spell it. Then every time I wrote "Batman", there was no squiggly line, so that means that Batman is acceptable.

P.P.S. I suppose Spiderman is technically "Spider-man", but that seems off to have to write it like that, even though I know source material does in fact include that hyphen. Why does he have to have a hyphen? No cool superhero has a hyphen in their name. Only spaces if necessary.

Sunuke Bokken

My new bokken came in today, and it looks really good, has a good weight to it, and has a very pretty color to it. I'm so excited. Now I can also use this in tandem with the one I brought to train Dan, or anyone else interested in learning Aikido. This is going to be so much fun.

For those who are interested to learn a bit more, I've been training Aikido for 13 years, and have always just used the bokken (wooden sword, styled like the Japanese katana) that my dad had gotten years ago. It's still a fully functional weapon, with some "battle scars" a.k.a. a bit of wear and some splintering that I need to sand down eventually. Overall, a great weapon. I'm not entirely sure what wood it is made out of, but it's clearly stood the test of time.

So now that I have reached the rank of shodan (1st degree black belt), and I want to try to start an Aikido club here at school, or if not at least train a few friends who would be interested, I figured that the best way I can keep the interest up is to also train in weapons like I have been trained. The only "downside" is that a lot of the movements and practices require 2 of each weapon, at least as far as the bokken and jo are concerned (a "jo" is a short staff, similar to the more common bo staff).

With that being said, I just figured I wanted to at least invest a bit more into the art that I have recently discovered a pretty high passion for. So I bought my first very own bokken. I got the handle engraved with my name (in Japanese, or at least as close of a translation of "Geoffrey" that the Japanese can do). The wood that it's made out of is "sunuke", which is "the core wood from a distylium racemosum tree (a.k.a. the isunoki tree) in Japan. Most of these trees are 200 years old, and hopefully that's the kind of tree that my weapon was made from.

Naturally with a high age like that, it makes the wood rare, so it was a pretty penny to get this. And for those who are interested in why I said "hopefully" before, it's because technically a younger isunoki tree can be used, and be chemically treated to have similar effects. But a younger tree has its fibers that aren't as bound to each other as tightly as a naturally occurring 200 year old tree, so that risks some slight fragility, and can splinter along the fibers.

And before you ask, "Well why didn't you just make sure you're getting naturally aged wood", the craftsmen in Japan don't even know what kind of wood they are getting when they order sunuke wood. It can be a gamble, but hopefully it worked in my favor.

Anyways, I suppose time and usage will tell me how durable this bokken is, and I'll just have to be a bit careful until I can try to learn its limits. In the meantime, I'll have to stretch out my tsuba (a piece you put on to protect your hands, think of it as the guard on the hilt) since it's also brand new a bit stiff trying to get to the bottom where it needs to be.

If you've made it this far into this blog post, thanks for spending the time to read it all out. As a reward, here's some pictures of the bokken, one of the engraved handle, and one of the entire bokken in one shot.

As you can see, the color of the wood is really pretty and has a nice darkness to it. Not the darkest wood available, as there's African ebony that would be way darker (the internet images on the store make it seem like it's almost black, if not black). But that one also costs nearly $1,000 or maybe it's more. Not the kind of money I have on hand. I wouldn't mind spending that much, if I had that much to spare. But also as my first bokken, I don't need something so expensive.

Furthermore, I kind of refer to my other bokken as "Old Faithful" now since it's been with me for years and has been sturdy enough to survive all of the usage. I'm trying to think of a good name for my sunuke bokken, but I have no clue. Feel free to comment on the blog, if anyone actually gets this far and has an idea.

FDOC Fall 2019

Today was the first day of classes, and it was pretty good. I have a 1:05, a 2:10, and a 4:20 (blaze it) on Mondays and Wednesdays.

Today also felt incredibly long, yet seemingly short simultaneously. I got up at 9:30 to get some breakfast and to just slowly take it easy as I get acclimated to the school schedule and being a student again instead of just running on my own time and my own rules (sorta, since my parents have rules at home that I usually follow anyways, so no big deal).

 I guess it just felt really long. I don't know why. Before I got dinner, I was thinking about how I saw my RA from last year, and thought that that had happened yesterday or something, but indeed that only happened this morning on my way to breakfast.

But now that I look at it, I'm shocked to see that it's 11:30 pretty much already. And I gotta go to be because my one class tomorrow starts at 9:45 (but ends at 10:35 so it's a short day of classes lol). I have reading that I need to do, but I'm too tired to do that now, and I'll have plenty of time to do that tomorrow. Well assuming I force myself to read.

Anyways, I just hope that not every Monday is going to feel long and short. Of course not all short, but not all long either. I just hope that this semester and the overall year go by pretty smoothly and that I can do well academically, and grow in the ways that God needs me to grow over this coming year.

Okay, I'm tired. goodbye.

Time Moves On

Tonight is my last night of being home. I mean I guess it's already technically my last day of being home since it's 12:20. I feel sad, sorta.

It's the same sadness that overcame me at the end of spring semester, some 3.5 months ago. The "I will miss this"/"I've got such a good thing going right now"/"Does it really have to be over already?" I know that change is good and there's no need to fear the change.

Except, I love being home and I'd rather have all the freedoms I have at home all the time. A good schedule that allows for exercise and chilling. Not needing shoes to go to the bathroom or shower. Having private bathrooms that you share only with your family.

I mean sure, I could go live off campus or live in the commons to at least solve the private bathrooms part. It's not solely because of the bathrooms that I do not want to leave.

I guess part of it is knowing that going back to school means starting another semester, which means work. While I probably should've gone to work or something while I was home, which in all honesty might make this switch not so bad, I enjoyed my free time that I was able to use to exercise and work towards a big goal in my aikido training.

I miss my friends at school, but at the same time, I do not entirely want to have the ability to see them, at least as of this moment, because that requires leaving home and this good schedule I've locked into and gotten a good feel for the rhythm.

I know there are great plans in store for me, but I just don't want to necessarily face them. I want to stay home.

At the same time, I need to go back to college. Whether or not I know if God wants me to have a higher education for His calling on my life or not, or if college has been serving as life lessons so I can prepare for the future regardless, I need to go back.

I wish I had everything set and planned, and that I could rest easy in knowing my life is settled. I mean, I guess I could trust God more and know that my life is settled regardless. It's the part that it's unknown and out of my control that gets me.

However, there's no time to waste dwelling on the past, yearning for what was, or what will be. I need to trust Him and focus on what is. The here and now. Time moves forward with or without me. I must keep up. I already have been given drives to focus on, which could very well be answers to what my calling is.

Opportunities have presented themselves, ideas have been said, the next step is to act upon it.

So with that, I will fight the emotions. I will cherish the time I have had at home, and I will strive boldly onto the next day, whether or not that means it's me at home, or me at school.

I need to be more faithful, and I need to be more trusting of God.

Time

Moves

On

COMMON SENSE PEOPLE

People are unfortunately reporting to the police that their cars were stolen, and in some places, higher end cars (Maseratis and the like).

At first you feel bad for these people. And you might be wondering, "well, Geoff, don't you feel bad for them because they just got robbed and their vehicles stolen?" No. I don't feel sad for them. I'm not trying to sound cynical or what have you, but hear me out.

Most of these people who are getting their cars stolen are leaving their cars in the driveway (not the problem), with the doors unlocked and the key fob in the car (most definitely the problem).

See, most of these thieves are low-class/low-tier criminals. They don't really try too hard to steal your stuff, but they will if the opportunity is presented to them and you make it way too easy for them.

Lock your doors and don't leave the key fob in the car. Why would ever leave it unlocked and much less leave the keys in the car? That's unsafe practice, and you don't exactly get my support if you get robbed. Not to say I want you to get robbed, but I'm saying you should've expected that if you decided to be foolish and not take up all the safety precautions that you had available to you.

Side note: just learn to drive manual, and most people wouldn't be able to steal your car regardless if your door's unlocked, unless enough people start driving manual and then it becomes a common skill again.

GOD IS SO GOOD

Okay so maybe I already knew that.

But God answered one of my prayers about my dorming situation for this coming school year. And He answered in favor of what I wanted. Of course whatever He wants is way better than whatever I could ever want, but still, I'm beyond excited.

God gave me a room on 25-3, the place I've been for the past 2 years, and the place that is home for me. I get to spend at least one more year with all my friends and it will be a great year.

Now of course gotta focus hard on my academics, but that's another story for another time :/

Anyways, I'm so happy and I've got a lot of thanksgiving to do towards God (I mean, there's a lot of other things I should be thanking Him for, but this is one more thing added to that list).