Time Moves On

Tonight is my last night of being home. I mean I guess it's already technically my last day of being home since it's 12:20. I feel sad, sorta.

It's the same sadness that overcame me at the end of spring semester, some 3.5 months ago. The "I will miss this"/"I've got such a good thing going right now"/"Does it really have to be over already?" I know that change is good and there's no need to fear the change.

Except, I love being home and I'd rather have all the freedoms I have at home all the time. A good schedule that allows for exercise and chilling. Not needing shoes to go to the bathroom or shower. Having private bathrooms that you share only with your family.

I mean sure, I could go live off campus or live in the commons to at least solve the private bathrooms part. It's not solely because of the bathrooms that I do not want to leave.

I guess part of it is knowing that going back to school means starting another semester, which means work. While I probably should've gone to work or something while I was home, which in all honesty might make this switch not so bad, I enjoyed my free time that I was able to use to exercise and work towards a big goal in my aikido training.

I miss my friends at school, but at the same time, I do not entirely want to have the ability to see them, at least as of this moment, because that requires leaving home and this good schedule I've locked into and gotten a good feel for the rhythm.

I know there are great plans in store for me, but I just don't want to necessarily face them. I want to stay home.

At the same time, I need to go back to college. Whether or not I know if God wants me to have a higher education for His calling on my life or not, or if college has been serving as life lessons so I can prepare for the future regardless, I need to go back.

I wish I had everything set and planned, and that I could rest easy in knowing my life is settled. I mean, I guess I could trust God more and know that my life is settled regardless. It's the part that it's unknown and out of my control that gets me.

However, there's no time to waste dwelling on the past, yearning for what was, or what will be. I need to trust Him and focus on what is. The here and now. Time moves forward with or without me. I must keep up. I already have been given drives to focus on, which could very well be answers to what my calling is.

Opportunities have presented themselves, ideas have been said, the next step is to act upon it.

So with that, I will fight the emotions. I will cherish the time I have had at home, and I will strive boldly onto the next day, whether or not that means it's me at home, or me at school.

I need to be more faithful, and I need to be more trusting of God.

Time

Moves

On