Am I Still Worthy?

 Perhaps I'm just exaggerating, but I cannot help but shake this feeling of if I am worthy of other people's time. I'll make this semi-quick (maybe).

So if you read the last post, you'll know that I was supposed to have a first date with a girl whom I thought is pretty. Well, that's assuming she knows I am leaning more towards seeing it as a date, but I guess technically all I did was ask her to grab some coffee, so that could be seen as just two friends grabbing coffee together. My only rationale for assuming it's more date-like is because I'm a guy and haven't known for long and I can't say I know too often of times where a guy asks a girl to go anywhere to do something without some intention of dating. I mean not to say that two friends cannot platonically and simply grab coffee, so I guess there might be a chance she views it as a platonic meet up. Without sidetracking too much and whether or not this coffee thing is a "date", it didn't happen due to a conflict of timing with other events in her life. She had asked for a "rain check" and of course what was I to say? And naturally, now that she's said the phrase "rain check", that phrase is popping up more around me and I caught it in a random episode of Law & Order SVU, which only reminded me that I didn't have this coffee.

The other instance is not so gray about relationships, as I was supposed to go out with one of my best friends from high school to grab some grub since it was his birthday a week ago and I had wanted to hang out last week but he was busy until this weekend. It had seemed that originally the plans were to meet on a Friday when I had asked earlier this week if he preferred Friday evening or Saturday. Then come 5 p.m. by the time we had figured what kind of place we wanted to grab food from, he texts me informing me that he has to reschedule to tomorrow, around the same time. I mean I guess on the one hand it at least was settled time and place of where to go tomorrow, so there is that, whereas the coffee or whatever it is I might end up doing with the girl I like is still coffee as nothing has been planned. Honestly, I wouldn't mind changing from coffee and doing something else, but I just want to do something with her.

Anyways, I guess it's only two instances of rescheduling plans, but maybe it's just compounded because I had really looked forward to that coffee and had been looking forward to it for the week and a half or so that had elapsed since originally planning it. Again, I don't know if she knows I intend for it to be a date,  because in technicality I actually don't know her relationship status, but I suppose one would assume that if she were dating someone else, she would've mentioned that when I sent my original text inquiring if she'd be down to grab some coffee.

In the end, I guess whatever the case may be, I just have to wait until tomorrow to see my friend, and as far as the other rescheduling, just be cool and wait until she returns from her vacation that she's going on tomorrow and then see what the options are. I'm half wondering if I should drop things because I've texted her here and there since she said she had to reschedule, and the conversation isn't as flowing but then it's hard to compare because on the one weekend I was texting her a bunch, it was simply the weekend and I was free to chat whenever I could, whereas during the workweek, I'm at work and she's at work, and we're off doing our own things so it becomes harder for texting frequency to remain up. That and I'm also unsure of what to do since some of her replies have been shorter than initial replies say a week ago, but it could just be that she's busy trying to pack and get ready to go. I guess time will tell what everything is looking like when she comes back from vacation.