A year ago today, I shared the following post. Thanks to Facebook memories for bringing it back up and I find that even a year later it is very much applicable still.
A year ago, the relation that this had to me was that I had not yet been able to select the housing I had wanted for the Fall 2019 semester. Looking back, I know that deep down, there was a separate reason for wanting to live once again on 25-3, and it wasn't just because I had come to call that hall as home and that I had formed some great friendships there that I knew would be coming back. It was really because a girl I had been crushing on would once again be on the same hall for herself, which happened to be my hall's sister dorm, so since I was typically awkward around girls, much less any girl who caught my fancy, so I had relied on hall events to have a chance to hang out with her. Anyways, that might be beside the point now, but it was helpful because the thought of not returning to 25-3 after living on that hall for 2 full years really was a shock to my world at the time. I guess I got blessed to have my final semester be on that hall, and it was incredibly sad to see it go, well really just me leaving.
And now, as far as today, it's a whole world of uncertainty and life shaking changes. Had everything stayed the same, or close enough anyways, I would have been at Liberty still. This coronavirus would have ideally not been a thing and the semester would just be wrapping up right about now (I think, then again I don't know because that academic calendar has no weight or affect on me anymore). Life would have been splendid. Well, not to say it isn't splendid now, because I've definitely learned a lot of things and had many chances to see things in different ways, as well as experience things that I would have not yet, but this is not the life I had planned to live in 2020.
The part of no longer being a college student was a major shock. I knew that the day would come eventually and I would have to enter the workforce eventually, but I hadn't expected to do so at this point. Then to add to it all, to live in a world restricted and very nearly shutdown because of a virus pandemic? I could never have expected that would be something I would live in, and hopefully through soon. To see how crazy things can get and how long things take.
There are so many different things that I wish were happening and that I wish could have been my reality. But this is my reality. And while my world has been turned upside down and shaken left and right, mangled beyond recognition, I've survived and I've learned and I've grown. I would not have done some of things in some ways, had I gone back to the life I had gotten comfortable with at Liberty. I had begun to become complacent in everything. Maybe even now, I am starting to just find a rhythm in my day to day and just go through each hour of each day without much thought.
The point of all of this is that this post from TobyMac still has a strong relevance in my life. Whether I reposted it back a year ago because I was truly shaken up by not knowing where I would dorm, or whether it was meant to just pop up in my life again a year later to just remind me that everything that has transpired was supposed to happen and that the life I live is exactly where I need to be. That I should be trusting the process as many of my brothers in Christ have told me to. That while it may seem confusing, everything does indeed work out in the end and that I shouldn't fight this process. I should just try my best to do my best and learn as much as I can in whatever experience I am in.
I find it unlikely that I shared this post for no reason. I find it semi-suspicious that it still speaks to me. Seems too real to be coincidence alone. Is it God speaking to me through actions I could not explain awhile ago and not realize until now?
And was my post for back then in my uncertainty of a dorm settlement, or was it for now in my 2020 of craziness and many changes?
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