5

Wow it's been a minute (okay technically several thousand, maybe even a hundred thousand hehe) since I last wrote a month beginning post solely titled the number of the month I am about to begin. I honestly can't remember the last time I did this. But here we go.

I kinda can't believe that 2020 already has 4 months down the hole. So much has happened, so many changes in my life, and so many things going on affecting more than just my life. So many changes to my status in life, relationship changes between people, new experiences and challenges presented to me, and a worldwide pandemic that I never would have expected to face in my lifetime. I mean, sure, no one expects to face a pandemic in their life. No one really wants to face one, yet here we are.

A lot of questions have been raised in these past months, and a lot has been left unanswered. A lot of setbacks in maturity and in relation to the original plan for life, but then areas of growth have occurred, and realization of areas that I had been severely lacking in. I had discovered immaturity in how I react, how I cling on too much to something I only realized how good I had it when it was too late, and how I become too stubborn to try to move on properly.

Everything is a work in progress. I feel like in learning the truths about me that I am working on. I need to focus on myself and not put all my hope and happiness in another person. To find happiness in someone else is always great, but they should not be my lifeline.

I don't know where May will take us. One thing I hope is the end of this coronavirus. It's too much for me and I feel like I'm losing my mind ever so slightly more every day. I hope to face challenges the right way, with the right mindsets and perspectives to be as wise as I can.

5th month of 2020, it could be stable, it could be volatile, whatever the case is, I hope I am ready for it.