Keep On Charging Ahead

Sometimes even if the progress is minimal, minute, infinitesimal, subatomic, barely noticeable, etc, you just have to make the progress. No matter how seemingly insignificant something is, if it is progress, do it, take it, make it, commit to it, apply yourself into it. How can you ever expect to get better, improve, restore, heal, move on, etc, if you won't take the first step, even if it only moves you narry a millimeter.

I just want to say that I am so blessed, so grateful, and so undeserving of so many things. First off, I was forgiven for my trespasses. Then, I was given the grace of a small start up. I had wondered what would happen next after I had called a once best friend and just verbalize my apology for wronging her and breaking her trust, etc. that I had already texted to her. I had wondered what to do to continue rekindling a smothered flame that was the friendship we had, after stirring it up with the re-following process. I just am so blessed that I was given a few more connections and while it may or may not mean anything in the grand scheme of things, I'm glad I'm working towards restoration and healing.

So the minute progression was merely just sending an 8 ball pool game over Facebook messenger. I wasn't sure if she'd accept it, but I sure am grateful that she didn't ignore me as I had to her. Then somehow there were 2 games of pool going on (I could've sworn I only started one, but oh well) and we had played both to completion. Shortly after, we had a brief conversation, just a casual "how are you" and minimal catching up. I know it may not be much, but I'm happy. Happy that this friendship might not be lost to the ages. That while things will be different, I can still work towards something akin to what I had before my immaturity and rash behavior nearly destroyed it all.

I don't know what the next step is. I don't know how often I'd be texting her, or if she'd even want to text me. I don't want to infringe on her privacy or need for space if that's what she wants. I miss her dearly, but I know I trespassed her and she doesn't owe me anything, and she certainly doesn't have to give me a second chance. I don't know how I can work towards rebuilding her trust in me, but if anything comes up, I'd be more than happy to work towards it.

To my friend if you're reading this:

Honestly, I don't know if you count me as your friend, but I'd like to try to work towards rebuilding our friendship that I had so carelessly thrown away. I don't know how I could ever ask to or rebuild your trust in me, but if you ever would like to and have a way for me to work on it, please do not hesitate to contact me. I do truly value your friendship and I hope that we can make it happen. Whatever you choose, just let me know, and I can move on and go my separate way if you want.