I guess it never really was a secret. I mean what ever was a secret on this blog anyways? If I had really wanted to keep it secret, I would've just not posted it at all..... or so I think.
I guess now that I know the truth, you can know it as well. Also to who this is kinda about, sorry, but I'm just really excited and happy that this is the way things are.
If you know me for any given length of time, I probably at some point have poked fun at the fact that I'm still single and that I'm on a track record of 16 crushes and 7 rejections (because I didn't act on most of the crushes). So imagine that after reject or crush that led to nowhere one after another that eventually I'd find someone who eventually "caught them feelys" and reciprocated.
For those gamers of old, imagine getting your first 25 kill streak in Call of Duty and calling in that tactical nuke to end the game on your terms.
That's what this felt like. An explosion of overwhelming joy and happiness. I knew that in God's timing that I'd find someone, and that I probably shouldn't have tried so many times before, but here we are. All I can do now is to be thankful and praise God for everything. For the patience to wait this one out, and for the guidance to keep going even if past crushes have led to nothing.
Now I don't mean to say that anything is set in stone just yet, but I can't help but think about the overwhelming joy I feel.
I honestly don't really know how I want to articulate this post, so I'm coming up with words and sentences as I go along. Hopefully some of this makes sense. It probably doesn't, but I'll write an update post/another post to organize everything once my brain calms down. I mean I don't want to get rid of this feeling so soon, but you know, it's not exactly helping me write coherent thoughts.
What I'm trying to say, if you haven't pieced it together by now, is that the girl I've been crushing on for the past 2 maybe close to 3 months reciprocates the feelings. And this has never happened to me before. I feel ecstatic. I feel alive. I feel joy.
All I know now is that I should pray to God, to thank Him, to glorify Him, and to ask Him to help me center any relationship that comes out of this on Him. To have guidance from Him to know what I need to do to treat this girl to the very best of my abilities, if not beyond my abilities and force myself to grow to treat her like the priceless person that she is. Because the Lord our God has made each and every human being priceless and beyond putting a price tag on. We just got to recognize that and know our intrinsic value, and that even if the world says we're worthless, there is a God Almighty who says we are worth everything.
To the girl, who shall remain unnamed for now, I hope that I can be the person you deserve. I have fears of not being enough or being less than what you deserve, but I want to give it my best shot. Thank you for being such a good friend up to now, and for bringing so much joy to my life.
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