So I've hit a rock bottom of sorts. I've been going through a small spell of depression. I've not been doing anywhere near as well as I should have been academically. And with less than 5 weeks until classes are over, you can probably guess how that got to me.
It caused my aggression to be heightened, and I lashed out at friends. I'm going to need time by myself to reconcile with those friends, but anyways.
Tonight we had a bonfire with the sister dorm, and it was good. It was nice to see that people came to talk to me, I guess it was obvious I wasn't myself. Then during worship, I broke down and cried.
I never cry during worship, so clearly the spirit of the Lord moved within me to let me know that all is going to be well regardless of my grades, regardless of my sins, and regardless of what I do. It felt good and I feel called to begin forgiving and apologizing to those who I have not given a chance or the human decency or even the Christian love that I was supposed to be giving them.
Tonight was great, and it made me hit rock bottom. It's good because at the men's retreat I went to a week ago, a key point was that a man needs to hit rock bottom before he can actually develop into what he needs to become.
Okay God, I'm ready to transform.
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