Blame It On Me

For those of you who know anything about me, I love achievements, digital badges, trophies, awards, etc. Basically anything that I can see as my own way of displaying my progress, where I've come from, and what I've been able to do. Not the worst thing to be "addicted" to so to speak.

And then if you know me even better, you'll know that hands down my favorite superhero is Batman. I mean have any of you see all the clothing, posters, collectibles, etc. that I have relating to Batman?

So if you are helping me along my fitness journey and by your terms say that I get to be Batman at whatever weight value you assign to an exercise, you'd better believe that I'm going to be really happy with every step forward I take. And then I'm likely to share my progress or my achievements with whoever started the idea up.

To get things straight, I was once told I can "be Batman" if I can 1 rep max 250 lbs on bench. So of course if I do X number of exercises or X many sets or X many reps, and I feel good about what I've done, wouldn't it make sense for me to want to share my progress with the person who started the idea of me becoming Batman (in my own way)?

Then if a group of friends is supporting me in my journey, wouldn't it make sense to share with them all my progress?

So tell me why, all of the sudden when you realize "oh he's so focused on his physical achievements, he never once talks about God" that my sharing of what I did in the gym today a problem and come off as me "bragging"?

I get it. I'm supposed to make my main focus in life God, and then from there everything else is supposed to fall into place. I want to believe that. But I also want to focus on some of the other things that are important to me, like getting into shape for my black belt test in 4 months, give or take.

So to out of nowhere say that I'm too focused on it? Why did you all the sudden antagonize me in the situation you created by setting a goal for me? Why is it that I'm the one who's "too obsessed" over talking about Batman, or becoming like Batman? I mean I get it, I probably talk a bit much about it.

But then if you're going to claim all the sudden "oh we have lives too, so it's a little annoying to have to read you talking about Batman all the time". You should've said something whenever it began to bother you and not bring it up when clearly there are emotionally charged messages being sent because I've just out of nowhere been told to stop.

Sure, I shouldn't have let it get to me and let my emotions get the better of me, but I'm not the only cause for all of this blowing up. It's the other's fault too in that all the sudden they don't want to hear about my progress or whatever. If you wanted me to talk about it less, all you had to say was "hey Geoff, would you mind talking about it a little less". Sure I'd be a little disheartened that there aren't as many people for me to just openly share my progress with, but I'd respect your wish, and I'd talk about it less. But if you're going to randomly say "oh yeah you need to stop", believe me that I'm not going to take well to that at all.

I just don't get how it's my fault that I'm too obsessed over something. If you play on what I enjoy or what I love and set goals for me, you better believe you're going to hear about it.

All it would've taken was a request for me to talk less about it. Then we wouldn't have problems. But nope, just gotta be rude and abrupt about it. And then get mad at me for lashing out when I was lashed out at first.

I know I shouldn't return the lashing out, and my temper's been something I've needed a lot of work on, and clearly still need a lot of work on. But just as you will defend yourself or someone else in a word battle, I'm going to defend myself if I feel like I'm under attack. Doesn't matter how many times you claim "no one is attacking you". If it is perceived that way, especially when 2-3 people are going off directing messages at me, are you seriously going to think I'm not feeling like I'm being attacked?

All in all, it was time to cut some people out of my life. It was time for me to stop associating with these people. If they chose to be supportive then out of the blue want me to shut up about what they once supported me for, then goodbye.

But sure let's blame it all on me 100% because they were innocent in all of this.