Overthinking

 If I could, I would remove the ability to overthink. I mean maybe there are some practical uses for overthinking a situation or set of events or circumstances, etc. But I've been so called "burned" before and I'm not exactly looking forward to that potential again. However, it also may sort of tie into my previous post to the extent that I shouldn't not do something in regards to that context just because I fear getting hurt.

Now obviously this doesn't mean to commit all in to everything I overthink, as that would definitely be unwise, but if you've read the previous post, then perhaps you have an idea of where this is going. If not you're going to learn where this goes soon enough.

There's been some ideas floating through my mind that make me wonder if they are as I might think they are, or if it's merely overthinking which could get me burned again (so to speak). Hence why I won't be acting on anything just yet, but potentially something to keep in mind and keep an eye out for.

First thing on the mind is something that's relatively trivial and probably means nothing ultimately. But here we go. There's the semi-common idea that if a girl wants to "flirt" with a guy, she may try to initiate a comparison of hand sizes, to therefore allow for an excuse of physical touch. The story? Well, myself, a coworker (I know that technically both of them are my coworkers, but it's more for identification purposes that saves from releasing names and such), and this girl were just chilling as work had slowed down and we had a brief few moments to talk a bit before moving on to the next task. My coworker just had gotten off her lunch break and was saying how she was cold and how her hands were cold because of poor circulation. Admittedly the workplace has been strangely cold these past couple of days, however either because of my size and weight or my metabolism, I haven't really felt the cold that my coworkers feel or even some of the customers feel as they ask if we're cold for working in there. The girl mentions something about how my coworker's hands are small, and then next thing I know they are comparing hand sizes. Then I'm curious how small my coworker's hands are (as she is 4'11" maybe 5' depending on the day haha and I'm at 5'10" or 5'11" something like that). So I compare my hand size to my coworker. Upon doing this the semi-common idea pops into my head and I start wondering if this is what that is. Before I could do or say anything, my coworker starts being goofy and saying me (a guy) comparing hand sizes with her (a girl) is somehow "gay". She's saying "wow this is gay" and I'm just retorting with "how? How is this gay?" And then that was the end of that. I wonder if the girl was hoping I'd compare hand sizes with her, but she didn't say anything about it nor really gesture for it, and me starting already overthink in the moment did nothing about it. That might also be in part due to the fact that I kind of like this girl but I didn't want to be overstepping boundaries or anything like that so I'm trying to feel out what is or isn't okay whilst also building upon the friendship by talking about other things that isn't work-related. 

So since I didn't do anything with it, I could just be overthinking it. At the same time, I've been friends with my coworker pretty much ever since I started working with her when she started in September 2020. Even if you say it took a few weeks to really be friends, I still have been friends for several months now and I have never once noticed or cared how big my hands were against hers.

At this point you're probably thinking, "Geoff, you're just crazy and you're seeing things that aren't there and just being a bit much considering your feelings for her and you're hoping she has feelings for you." And honestly, you might be right. However, let me present to you the next bit and maybe I'm not as crazy. Still crazy, that's for sure, but not as crazy, ya know?

Point 2 comes in when someone was supposed to come in to work at 6:30 but they couldn't come in for whatever reason. He tried to find a cover, and ultimately his sister was able to come in at 4. When she did show up, the girl and the sister apparently know each other and are friends with each other. The girl mentions how she wanted to originally work in the location and the sister worked at. Now as friendly banter, the workers at my workplace joke about how we never want to work at the other locations. Upon hearing the girl say she wanted to work in that location, my coworker says, "why would you want to work in that location?" The girl responds with, "initially I wanted to work there but after working here..." and then she either trailed off whatever she was saying, or purposely left it there. I don't really know, and I didn't think or even want to ask.

Now this might also be arrogance or something that is like "well she said that because she's referring to you and you're the reason she's fine with working at this store." And while that could very likely be the case, I can't say for certain that it's a 0% chance of it being potentially true. So it's getting me thinking.

And this is where the overthinking kicks in and I might ultimately screw myself over if I don't play my cards right and if I think something is happening when it is not. So for now all I'm going to do is lay low and just see if anything of potential signs of flirting or attempts to get to know me better occur. I'm not really sure what I'm looking for, all that I know is that there could be something or there might not be something. I suppose it would be best to just err on the side of caution and just keep it in mind and not do anything about it.

You got to love overthinking, right?