So just watched a feel good Christian movie that just released on Netflix called "A Week Away". Brief synopsis (spoiler alert) is a teenage deviant who lost both his parents at a young age either has a choice to go to juvie or a summer camp. Ultimately it is a Christian summer camp and his experiences help to change his life.
The spoiler alert is more for the content of my post as it might reference the movie, but also it's pretty predictable if you ask me and a bit cheesy, but still a nice movie
With that out of the way, it made me feel something from within. At first I wasn't super into watching it as it sounded kinded meh, but I figured why not just try it and it was actually entertaining. It was fun to watch and made me reminiscent of my time at Liberty. And one might be like "well if it's cheesy, why would that be a good thing that it reminds you of Liberty? Wouldn't that make the school cheesy?" Well, perhaps yes, but I'd also firmly say no. It's not all the fantastical and rehearsed dance numbers that everyone just falls into place doing, and not everyone just breaks out into song when something needs to be conveyed. But just the fun that could be had from the activities they portrayed. The singing and congregating around campfires, oh how that was so much fun the few times I got to do it. Or just gathering together, playing games and just making memories. All whilst most everyone was okay being a bit more emotionally open and heart to heart conversating as the people there were more understanding and less likely to use that information against another. Admittedly, I've taken my colder experiences from public schooling in a secular community (well there were Christians, but it was more on the down low for information to be shared) and I have caused my fair share of damage from it. So take my word when I say I speak from experience that being open too soon with the wrong people could be used against you later on.
Liberty just holds a super special place in my heart and I've loved every moment I've been there. I can't say that I haven't learned from my time there, nor could I say I didn't enjoy it all. Sure there were bumps in the road, but that's just part of the nature of life. If life were to be easy, then what's the point of living if everything is just immediately handed to you on a silver platter? I've even considered re-applying to Liberty whenever I finish my time at community college, and while I'm still on the fence about it because it is a decent hike away from home and I'm uncertain if I'd want to live residentially again (although I wonder if I didn't live residentially that I might not have the full experience that I had and so dearly love).
I suppose to add insult to injury (metaphorically of course), there were some love stories thrown into this movie. There was one with the protagonist who hid his past because of the track record not exactly being something attractive for someone who followed rules and lived life very Biblically and religiously. And there was one of two people who thought of themselves initially as not good enough for the other. That one feels as if he doesn't have the confidence or that he's too nerdy for the girl. And she's waiting for him to make a move and thinking she can't do anything as she feels inadequate, yada yada yada.
I've felt something in both stories. Not so much exactly, but in one way of hiding my past and crafting a different person during my time at Liberty whilst pursuing (over time) various girls trying to find a relationship. Because in a way I saw most of the girls I had a fancy for in some capacity for whatever period of time, akin to how the girl was that the main protagonist pursued: religious, kind, and potentially scared off by my more crude past. I've not been as delinquent or deviant as the character was, but I'm by no means great. I've been in a fight in middle school (I suppose it counts as fight even if it was only a couple hits back and forth), I talk like a sailor, and my humor was pretty heavy in crudeness and darkness. I can't exactly think of what else I'd be hiding but I probably could think of something if I gave it enough thought. Then the other side is the feeling of inadequacy. I've not been great for feeling good about myself and lacking self-esteem and confidence. I relate to the guy in the movie who can't bring himself to even look or talk to the girl he likes. He even has all these ideas of being nice and kind (such as writing letters to her, but he never sent any of them). And he hasn't the slightest idea that she likes him back (okay well that has very seldom happened to me, but I guess it has happened so I can't claim it never happened).
So where does that leave me? Well, I almost want to relive my days at Liberty. To have the sense of fellowship and as the movie said "to feel like a part of something bigger". I felt at home at Liberty and I'm usually a homebody. I'd usually prefer to just stay at home than to go out, but I go out if I have to. So when I made the choice to go to a school 452 miles away, I was worried I might not like it there. Ultimately, I felt just at home and forgot about the distance most of the time (aside from having to travel home lol). And as far as the relationship area, while yes I have tried to pursue some girls whilst being home since the start of 2020 (all of which not resulting in anything), I feel like I would want a relationship of someone who is so strong about her faith. Because something about it is just.... inspiring? Awesome? Attractive even? I mean while some of the things in my past didn't turn out to be anything these days, but it did help me to learn about different aspects of relationships and also teach me what exactly I want to look for in a relationship (aside from the girl being pretty).
I kinda hate how these movies, while nice as they are, they make me jealous almost because it puts my inner thinkings and feelings on the screen (sort of) and because it is a fictional story, they can script it so that no matter what past there is to hide or how awkward one may be, they still get the girl in the end. And maybe there is some mild truth in that that's how life just works and that it doesn't matter how you feel or perceive yourself that you can find someone who loves you for you.
Fascinating how a simple movie can inspire me to put words on a page (or a screen rather, but you get the idea).
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