What's Next?

Today, I finally got a cable that allows me to utilize both of my computer monitors with my Vengeance PC. If you're wondering why I had 2 monitors, well that's because initially I bought one to use with my first desktop, and then after I went away to Liberty for my first year, I bought a new keyboard and then my laptop's screen was too small for being so far away, so I just bought the same monitor again. Ever since then, I've had one monitor to keep at school and one to keep at home.

Now that I'm no longer enrolled anywhere, I had my "school" monitor just sitting around not being used. For awhile it wasn't a problem since I was using the same laptop and monitor set up as before. But with my new PC, I don't have the use of my laptop's screen (naturally), and I wanted to have both screens in the event that I decide to get back into streaming games so that I can simultaneously run the game, and also see stream stats and info, as well as chat if applicable.

So with the completion of my set up, what's next? I had been looking forward to bringing all of my technology together, and now I'm wondering, "am I actually going to get back into streaming? And if I do, what games will I be playing? When will I stream, how long will the streams last, and any other question that would be associated with getting back into the game." Pun intended by the way. As I was wondering about whether or not I will actually get back into streaming, or if I had just gotten the second cable for dual monitors for no reason (essentially), it led to me to wondering what's next for me in life?

Now I know that that is quite the jump, from wondering if I'll get back into an old hobby of mine, to pondering the big questions of what is the meaning to my life and what's the next thing that I'll do since I don't have any major changes coming up that I can prepare for. For example, ending high school was one change, and then going away to college was another change. Both of which I could prepare for. I couldn't "prepare" for the end of my college career so soon (well I could've had I been more proactive and gotten my schoolwork done), and I couldn't prepare for jumping into the workforce at Jersey Mike's. But it would seem that as for right now, I've got some semblance of a pattern that I can sync into and just go with the ebb and flow of each day in and day out.

But what's next? Maybe I'm being ungrateful with what I have in the here and now, and I should just be content with everything that I have. Job? Check. Roof over my head? Check. Clothes on my back? Check. Accessories for my hobbies? Check. What more should I be asking for that I don't appreciate the value of everything I already have now? In fact, I've learned some major lessons in that I had gotten so used to looking forward to the next big thing.

Take last year for example. I had started the Batman, and then I looked forward to amassing more followers. Then I looked to make a costume. Then I looked to expand the group. Then I looked forward to every gathering I had with said group. Then (after getting close) I had looked forward to a relationship. But I hadn't ever stopped and appreciated even having some of these things, that now I'm looking back and realizing how good I had it and now that it's gone I'm wishing I could go back.

Maybe I need to not worry so much about my next step and just live day to day for a bit. To live even week to week, but no more than that. To just appreciate all that I have now. To be grateful for once instead of constantly searching for the next big thing in my life.

Maybe I don't need to know what's next and I need to focus more on, what am I thankful for today?