Powerful, The Mind Is

It's interesting how powerful the mind can be.

I know in the long term, this will be a much appreciated effect, but as for right now, I'm in a weird period of nostalgia and some mild regression back to wishing for just one more moment in that time period. To just relive some of my recent past and make it my reality once again.

Tonight, I was rewatching The Green Book, and it's an excellent film. As I got towards the end of the movie [spoiler alert], there's a scene about the Christmas season. It made me feel those good, warm feelings that are centered around the Christmas time. The wonderful festivities and the fun and fond memories I've been blessed to be able to make.

This time though, because I had originally watched this movie for the first time in my Cinematic Arts Appreciation 101 class during my final semester at Liberty, I was brought back to those moments, sitting in the front, second seat in from the right, in October/November, texting the Batfamily before and after my 4:20-5:10 class, and everything was just so easy and so good. It led me to thinking of the fond memories of Christmas that I had made this past Christmas (2019), and it reminded me of, well, all of that I had with Sophia.

Now I know that that time is gone, it is past, and it is just a memory now. I get that. I just miss it a little because that was before I brought out my true and immature side of me. That side that tore apart the best friend group I have ever had, and I had some of the best friends in there ever.

I guess all I can do now is move on and just learn from my mistakes and my errors. To allow myself the indulgence of lingering in the past. I shouldn't totally repress or try to forget these memories, but I should treat them like I do for my last year of high school and marching band and everything: as good, if not great, times and times that I will cherish forever.

I want to move forward in my life and I know I can. I'm moving in that direction and the self care I am giving myself is definitely helping. The working out I'm starting to do again is building my confidence in my body image and the psychological effects of feeling good and lowering stress because of exercise is beginning to kick in. I am feeling good about my work and my life and all the lessons that I have learned, both negative and positive. I am hopeful for the future and what it may bring.

Life has been full of ups and downs, and I need to focus on the goods, learn from the bads, and be optimistic all throughout.