What Have I Missed?

I'm catching up with a good friend from high school and I begin to wonder some things as I catch him up on everything (relatively) in the past couple months since I last texted him (yeah I know I'm awful at keeping up with people I don't see everyday or at least frequently).

So naturally I had to catch him up on my leave from school and the consequences of that. And I got to wondering, "what have I missed?" Sure college was only going to be for a few years, but I gotta wonder what I missed. In the sense that my hall and community was pretty good at doing fun events like bonfires, hiking, just doing things together. I wonder if I had missed anything in the two months school was open. Obviously now there is nothing that is going on, so there's not much to wonder about.

I mean, I guess there's not really a point to wondering about it since even had I returned, like I said, college only lasts so long and eventually I would feel the same of, "wow by this time of year, I would be doing x, y, z with the sister dorm" or whatever the events would be. I guess I still linger on missing out on a pretty crucial developmental part of who I am and some of the best years of my life. I guess I can always go back to school, but like I said in my previous post, I have to think about where I want to go and what I want to do.

Inquiring minds do want to know though, what would have happened had I returned to school for the 2 months and then only now or a couple weeks ago have come home? How would potential relationships have gone? What would life even be like, switching totally to online, and now missing the fun aspect of being able to go hang out with friends, get food whenever, do stupid waffle house runs at 3 am?

Those are questions I probably will never get the answers to until the day I die and maybe ask God about them when I get to see Him face to face (and see now my faith is strengthening enough to believe I'm still going to heaven when I die, yet sometimes I don't feel God close and I turn to the world).

I guess what I need to do is not worry about what I had "missed" and not worry about what I had "lost" and whatever other word you can put in (verb? Adjective? I don't know my English that well at 11pm for some reason). I need to rebalance myself in my faith and trust that everything is still in control and that this is all a part of the plan for me and my life from the beginning. Sure times are confusing, but I can't quit and I just gotta keep pushing forwards.

Onwards we go, I guess.