Ride Out The Storm

As I begin to truly heal myself and work towards a restored lifestyle rather than to live in my pains and not deal with them head on, I find that it's going to be a long road.

There has been and will be moments in which I will feel a yearning for the past, for things to be different. I know that while it is true that I want what could have been still, I need to just rest easy that my present is the way that God wants things to go. He allowed things to happen so I could learn and better myself for the future. To shape me into the man I am supposed to be.

I know that when the moments come when I get down and wish for the different things in life, I just gotta hold out. Ride out the storm. This could theoretically be a way the devil will try to split me from God. Not to say that anything that has happened, such as the great memories I will cherish, were bad but just in the sense that the devil may try to get me angry at God for taking things away and for allowing these different circumstances to take place rather than what I wanted and had planned for. Of course all theoretical.

If on the off chance it's not that, then I just need to stay strong and persevere. I say Hebrews 12:1 is my favorite verse, yet do I actually try my best to persevere through everything life throws at me?

Sometimes the waves are rough and there's only so much one perceives can take in their boat, but I know I just need to brace myself, to hold fast when the waters rise to a level that can cause discomfort, bring about pain and memories of better times, to bring back wants and desires that are now out of reach. It's a stormy ocean that I sail on my road to recovery and then growth into the life that has been set out before me. But if this is what it takes for me to repent before God and to follow His plans no matter how life is going or how I perceive things to be, then ride out the storm is what I will do.