I do a lot of things without thinking and that's what really messes me up some times. It's how I burned bridges and cast out former best friends. It's how I got into a literal fight in middle school. It's how I say stupid things that potentially get me in trouble. Well I mean I say stupid things anyways. Want an example? No? Too bad, you're getting one.
So there's the meme of just replying to any mention of "69" with "nice". I don't honestly know the root of why it started. I have an idea but nothing certain. Anyways, I've gotten too used to the quick response that when the news was reporting 69 deaths in Connecticut from the coronavirus, I instantly reply with "nice" and then I realize what I just said was supposedly "nice". Now I know this was done in my home (and is now on the internet) but wow that was something I acted on before thinking and in any other public setting, I might have gotten myself into trouble.
Anyways, back to the topic at hand. I might've dropped something into the outgoing mail dropbox at the local post office. And while it technically doesn't have a return address so you can't technically trace it back to me, there's a couple of things that could make this a potentially unwise decision, especially if I am to heal and just move on. There might have been a necklace that was originally supposed to be a Valentine's Day gift, from before the fallout and back when there was the plan to surprise visit someone at LU for Valentine's Day. The "letter" inside might just say something along the lines of "even in times of uncertainty and confusion, you deserve to sparkle".
Okay okay, so even if all of this is true (really, dude? Really?), one issue is that first of all the stamp design traces it back to me. It was Mexican food cartoon pictures, and there were two letters of the same theme sent to the same person. I mean, hypothetically, of course. And even if that seems like a longshot, how about tracing handwriting, matching both the letter and the envelope's address to past letters. Well, I guess this is all assuming that those letters are still held on to. Finally, the nail in the coffin, who else knows the intended recipient's address, and would be sending something to her anyways? At least the way that it was sent.
Shoot, now that I keep writing about it, I feel like this was a mistake, but one I cannot take back. After all was said and done, I even had quick thoughts that I hoped I kind of directed to God's direction of, "was this a wise thing to do? Was this the right thing to do?"
I guess all that I can do now is lay low, and see what happens over the next 2 to 3 business days or so.
Gosh, why am I like this? Why do I act on things, then start having thoughts of regret sometime afterwards?
I guess another note to make on this though, is that even over the past week or two, maybe longer, I had ideas of sending the necklace sooner. Well, the hypothetical necklace anyways. I don't know why I finally acted upon it. I kinda offered it up real quick in prayer last night, and then suddenly, I just acted upon it (obviously, that's why I'm here).
Obligatory prequel meme, because why not?
I guess all I can do is just pray about it and just calm down and own up to it if anyone says anything. Because there's no hiding this from anyone, at least in the parties involved.
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