Is This Reality?

Life feels so odd right now. I feel like that while I am very much living it, that I'm somehow disconnected from the world. That I just don't even feel anything. Emotions come and go, feelings don't last, I feel like I'm not really living.

That's not to say I want to go kill myself or anything. No to destroy something I was gifted with is not right. I was gifted this life and to destroy by my own accord is not what was intended for me.

What I mean is that I feel like I'm merely a set of eyes or my subconscious and just watching as everything happens around me. That I don't have control but things move and keep on going with no input from me.

Reality is weird right now. So many things happening all at once, yet simultaneously it's really not that hectic. Perhaps sensory overload? At least enough to cause me to just kind of feel like just a ghostly version of myself? To feel that I'm just a spectator of my own life?

I don't know how to process everything. I don't think I will be able to. Whatever today throws at me, I guess we'll see.

Is any of this a reality?

Or is all of what has happened just a really bad dream?

If that's the case, will I wake up?