Friends

I realize now that I've managed to successfully rekindle the flames of friendship that it was the lack of friendship (because again of what I've done to push them away) that led to me writing on this blog so much. That and also the part where I'm pretty active at my job, being on my feet and staying active. Well more active than to sit around at home anyways. Then on top of all that, I still go to aikido, so my days are pretty full of activity.

In my moments of downtime and finding myself in my own thoughts either throughout the day while I do mindless clerical tasks at work, or just reminiscing on good memories, that is when I find something to blog about.

I kind of want to keep blogging at least once per day, for as long as I can go. Naturally if I don't have something I feel is blog worthy to talk about, then I won't. But I guess this is like my new version of a journal. But it's one that I share publicly sort of. Only sort of because I don't advertise everywhere that I have a blog. I once had a journal that I kept all throughout 2016, just writing a new entry everyday on a Google Docs. At the end of the year, I had written way too much and it was so repetitive and not really vastly different in each entry that I never wanted to journal again. I digress.

It's nice to have friends. I don't know why I let myself push them away. No matter if I have 1,000 friends or 1 friend, I should never push them away. Especially if I had once considered them best friends and them to me as their best friend. Part of me wishes for those days of best friendship. Maybe it's possible, maybe not. I don't want to treat this friendship with an agenda. To make sure I'm not only doing this to achieve a status and then to leave it in the dust because I had gotten what I wanted.

I don't care if I have the titles and everything if the value of the relationship is not really that significant. If I'm not really investing time and effort to be a good friend, there's no point to try to be a best friend.

So with that being said, I'm super grateful for having a friendship restored. For a second chance to do things the right way. Whether or not I get to that best friend status again is not up to me. What is up to me is how I treat my friend. How I show that I learn from mistakes. Not just to do things and change for her, but to change and do things for myself. Of course her friendship is worth all of the change because having friends is always nice. Just having someone to talk to is nice, rather than merely just blogging and hoping someone wants to read my thoughts for the day.

Blogging has been relatively fun, but a one way communication is no fun. I like to hear from others and sometimes hate just talking about myself. Of course this blog is all just me talking.

All in all, I just am so happy for how things are turning up for the better. Maybe I can truly change myself. For myself, and for others. Primarily do everything for God and then change myself for my own achievement and not for the praise or laurels from others.

Blogging frequency may drop off, or it may not. We'll see.