Emulation

So as you can tell from the ending of my last post and from the title of the blog, I like Batman. Okay, maybe I'm a bit obsessed. But hey, he's a great superhero and upholds justice and protects those who cannot protect themselves. That's admirable. Something I wish to do. Maybe not as a vigilante since in real life vigilantism is illegal (okay well in the comics and such it still is illegal, but Batman had a ton of money for the gadgets and tools to help him escape, conceal himself, and eventually turn the law to his side and not go for instant arrests). But just the idea of being someone's protector, a watchful one at that. To be someone's guardian, a silent one at that. To be a knight for someone, a dark one at that.

This is kinda a joke post in the sense that it's kinda nonsensical and doesn't really have any deeper meaning or any life lessons or anything. But basically, for whatever reason, I've been experimenting with facial hair. Yup. That's what the post is about.

So if you know me, you'd know I'm Asian. And what does that have to do with anything? Well, stereotypically, Asians have a much slower rate of growing facial hair. And as we age to a point where we can start growing facial hair, we get patches for a long while. Like most contemporaries at 16 (when I started shaving) could grow a patchy beard. Me? I had a few whiskers in the mustache/upper lip area. 4 long years later and now I can kinda grow a chin strap sort of deal, as well as more in the upper lip and some on the chin below the lip.

All through January, I let it grow out. I shaved it all off February 1st because the whiskers over my lips bothered me since sometimes if I stuck my tongue out, I'd lick the whiskers and I wasn't used to it. After shaving, I kinda regretted shaving everything, so the other day, I only shaved the mustache part. I've still let the sideburns and jawline grow out, as well as the front of my chin.

I don't know what I am expecting to do with the facial hair. I don't know if it will look good or anything. All I know is that it makes me look older. Because after I shaved on the 1st, I looked like a baby. Baby faced and everything. Sure the facial hair isn't that much in comparison to other people my age, but it's more than what teenage Geoff could grow.

Anyways, the title, since I title my posts to have some relevance or appearance in the post (have I become self-aware in my posts?) Emulation of who? Well if you read the first paragraph, the Batman. In my time of healing and working through the fallout of my actions and the pains of heart break and casting out friends immaturely, I have gone into a sort of isolation. This could be my coming of age as my middle school English teacher would talk about. My transformation into the man I'm supposed to be.

Given how I kinda like how Christian Bale looked with the long hair and beard as he was a prisoner in the pit of the Middle East when Bruce was captured by Bane, I kinda want to emulate to an extent that kind of look. I know a full beard isn't possible yet, but just the idea of not shaving clean, kind of working towards a goal. His goal in the movie was the escape the prison. He had some steep falls, but he eventually makes it out. I feel as if I am in my own prison pit now. I need to change aspects of myself, try escaping, maybe fall a couple of times, change some more and then make my way out.

All in the meantime, aside from the top of my head since too long of head hair kinda bothers me (in fact I just got a haircut), I'll let the facial hair grow, keep the mustache region in check, but let the rest just grow and grow. To become my own version of an imprisoned Bruce Wayne as I make my way out of prison and change to become the hero that my friends (or acquaintances now maybe?) deserve. Maybe I won't be the hero that they need nor even the friend they need, but I hope to re-friend them if they are interested in rebuilding burnt bridges and cleaning up nuclear fallout.

So, with that, let's see what happens from here on out. Will I work step by step to change myself? To eventually escape this prison and then rightfully take back my mantle of the Dark Knight? Or will I stay in my past tendencies and behaviors and be imprisoned for life with no improvement and never become the Batman again?

I mean think about it. After Batman loses to Bane in the first fight, he loses his mantle of Batman since Bane imprisons him without his gear and his tech. It is only after he escapes and returns to Gotham that he gets to be the Batman. So will I stay where I am, not bother with changes and never be Batman again? Or will I improve myself and return to my former glories?