Better Than Expected

Hi!

Yes, it's me again.

I mean who else would it be? I didn't give posting privileges to anyone else. Besides who would want to help contribute to this mindless mumbo jumbo that are my thoughts?

Anyways, as the dust settles and I yearn for reconciliation, I feel like time can work and while I maybe need to have even larger scales of patience and waiting and to do more to improve myself (to change myself, grow myself, to become more mature, etc), I feel like baby steps are being made in the right direction.

In my anger and flood of emotions for when everything hit the fan a week ago (mostly my fault, you get the gist), I unfollowed and removed people as followers across Tiktok and Instagram. Okay by people I mean the same people I pushed away. It really isn't that hard to piece together if you've been here for any given period of time.

But now as I seek for reconciliation and restoring friendships, I see that baby steps are working and that things could work out in time and in practice assuming I can actually change myself. Tonight, or rather last night given that this post is gonna be marked for February 12, I began the refollowing. While it doesn't mean anything, what it shows is that I am hoping to reconnect with these people. So far so good, I was accepted for the follow requests I had to make, and was followed back in response on Tiktok and Instagram.

Now I know that simply refollowing these people and them following me back doesn't make or break anything. It doesn't necessarily mean everything's a-ok because that would be a lie, so far from the truth. But it gives me hope. Hope that they are ready to give begin giving me a second chance. A second chance that I never deserved, but one I am grateful for. A second chance that I will do everything in my power to hold onto forever and never let go. A chance to redo things. A chance to make things up. A chance to heal. A chance to repair. A mulligan, if you will.

These are things I do not deserve, but I am so grateful that this is what is happening. I don't want to rush into anything, as I should still give them the space they wany if they still want space, but I just want to show them that I am ready to do better. That I am willing to change myself for the overall betterment and to be the friend they initially deserved.

This gives me hope.

My God gives me hope.

I am thankful for Him because as He has shown us forgiveness, He has allowed these people to forgive me for my trespasses and transgressions against them. It will take a lot of time before I earn the right to be their friend given the way I acted, but it's a journey that will be well worth the hardship and waiting.