The End of One...

Today is December 31st, 2019.

Sure that's an obvious fact. What's the point in acknowledging that? Well for me, I'm 20 years old, so that means this decade has been half of my life. Also, yes I am not one of those counting 2020 as a 2010's year because that doesn't make any sense and I know that there was no year 0, but there have been enough leap years to give you over 365 days worth of leap days.

It's been a wild ride. One that while it started off rough. ended with the best thing I could ever imagine. Let's get started with the decade recap. Disclaimer: I am not doing a super high detailed recap, otherwise I'd be writing a book.

2010:
This was the year I had "graduated" elementary school and made the transition to middle school. Middle school was interesting. A lot more people to meet, and the age that kids start to enter their pubescent years. Which means as a guy (I can't speak for girls) that the hostility goes up. Sometimes. It was a year I had finally experienced what bullying was like. And sadly because I didn't know better, I just threw insults back at the bullies. Was I a bully? Maybe, most likely even. It was a rough start to middle school.

2011:
6th to 7th grade was interesting. I kept on dealing with the same bullies because I had never really spoken up about the bullying I was getting. It seemed to just be a contest each day to see who had come up with the better insult. I'm not sure why I never spoke to my parents about it. It was chewing at me from the inside out and I hadn't known then, but it would really bring me down. I didn't know that I should've left that "friend" group and make new friends, because I am a shy person when it comes to meeting people. I love to make new friends, I just didn't and still don't know how.

2012:
Bullying was still a major part of my middle school years. It caused me to become self-conscious and hate the fact that I am on the chubbier side. I mean I still do hate the fact that I can't get rid of the body fat around my belly, at least not to where I'd like it to be. Imagine a kid who's 170-180 pounds and maybe 5'4"? I don't remember my height.

2013:
This was the year I would graduate from middle school and go on into high school. It was also the year I had experienced summer school because I didn't do well enough in my math class in 8th grade to suffice for the Engineering program I was enrolled in for high school. It felt nice to leave middle school and all it's bad memories. Nostalgic because of all the good ones. But frightening because high school is a whole new place and I knew that the same people who gave me trouble in middle school were going to the same high school as me (you had 2 choices in our district).

2014:
I would discover through the latter half of freshman year and the beginning half of sophomore year that the Engineering program was either not for me, or that my procrastination skills are impressively high. Probably the latter because I still procrastinate. But regardless, that first year and a half of school in a tough program that I didn't put nearly enough effort into caused me to bring my GPA down to 2 point something by the end of my career. I was not even close to a stellar student, and sadly I still am not. One thing I am thankful for is that the Engineering program allowed for me to not see some old bullies because of the class requirement differences.

2015:
This is when high school became fun. I had started making "Let's Play" YouTube videos because my sister had made one for her Minecraft build. So I gave it a shot and kept on making videos. Well that was end of 2014 when I started. Eventually the kids at school found my YouTube channel and started calling me by my screen name, DragonPupps. At first I shied away because I thought that the one thing I enjoyed doing at home would become something that I would get bullied about. Eventually I would realize that it's free promotion of the name in case anyone ever asked about why that name, and then I just didn't let any insults get to me. By the end of sophomore year and going into junior year, I had embraced the name and soon there were no more insults thrown my way. I became untouchable, even invincible. It was a good feeling and a respite for a weary soul.

2016:
Junior year I had skipped prom because I didn't get to ask anyone out. It sounds dumb but all throughout my high school years I had been trying and trying to find someone to date. And sure that was dumb. I don't know what I was expecting to get out of dating. I didn't even really know what dating meant. But I wanted to. I'm not sure if it was something I wanted to experience, something for fun, or for status? In all honesty whatever it was, it was a dumb reason. Alas, I spent a decent amount of time through my 4 years of high school trying to find a girlfriend. By the end of this year, I had completed my senior year of high school. In the spring, I had visited schools for college. I had hesitation on going to Liberty University because 452 miles away from home seemed far, especially because of how close I am with my family, and because I'm a big momma's boy (don't you dare touch my mom, I will kill you). When we visited, I felt like I wanted to go to LU without even applying to the other schools I had visited. I even told my parents I was going to go as soon as I was accepted. They told me to wait for all the responses first. Come fall of that year, LU accepts my application and I once again said I wanted to go. We were waiting on 2 more responses.

2017:
The end of senior year was upon me. I had received my other responses and also visited LU for CFAW to really see if that was the school for me. Oh and for KING & COUNTRY was there for a concert, so it was mega hype (in case you didn't know, my mom and I really love for KING & COUNTRY and we've done a lot of traveling, gone to many concerts, and have a lot of their merch and CD's. But I'm not going to add much more about them here because it would add so much reading for you). Upon staying there in Commons 2 (which was nice but cleaning a bathroom or splitting duties with someone I didn't know yet was not my speed), I had decided that I wanted to go. The 3rd time I would say yes to the school. Side note, I am not great at making decisions as I want to make sure everyone is okay with the decision and that no one feels like they aren't going to enjoy themselves.

That summer, I had a lot of piano practicing to do because I hadn't practiced enough that I failed the final test by the National Guild of Piano Teachers the first time. So I practiced 3 hours a day every single day until the test. I retook the test and got a 97 out o 99.5. Not sure why they don't just add 0.5 to reach a total score of 100, but hey that's an excellent score (higher than my piano teacher by 2.5 or more points might I add haha).

In the fall, I would start my career as a Liberty Flame. It was crazy meeting people, trying to manage my schedule, learning how to room with people that aren't family. What a crazy time. It was an amazing year, 2017. From my best high school year ever, to a school I feel so welcome and so loved at.

2018:
This was an interesting year. I had finished my first year of college, and man where did the time go? I made so many great friends, and some that I still talk to on a near daily basis. I would also start my second year of college. Honestly, now that I'm writing this, I can't remember all that much of my second semester of freshman year. The one thing I do remember is that I had created a small friend group, centered around Assassin's Creed. We were the Contempo Brotherhood. We all liked or played Assassin's Creed to a certain extent and it was a fun group. Until I received the cold shoulder from some and then the group dissolved. It was fun while it lasted though. Side note: that "Brotherhood" was started in junior year of high school with me and my best friend from home. Then second year was interesting. My best friend who I met by seemingly chance, although was probably God's plan (I mean what isn't in His plan?) and I had decided to room again on the same residence hall (Circle 25 floor 3) with someone who we thought was kinda a good idea at first but sadly we would come to learn he's not the greatest roommate. A good friend, maybe, but not a good roommate. We've had some interesting complications about props and hounding people for money, wow it was strange.

2019:
So now we're here, talking about 2019. The first half was interesting, finishing off the year of college that I had the not-so great roommate, as well as joining a new friend group that in hindsight was so much fun, but really horrible for my personal development. I'm ashamed of the language I started using again, and have used in a lot of my early blog posts (because I had started this blog early this year), but I'm not going to delete those posts to remind myself of where I was and where I can go. Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it. That friend group I was a part of was incredibly fun. We did so much together, had so many late night talks, bonded real close and real fast. Then there was the fallout. It was a shame that all of it fell apart. Sure I might've been the catalyst, but everyone had their inner problems with one another and I guess it was only a matter of time.

Summer came around and I had been working out a lot at the gym and spending a lot of time training at the aikido dojo I train at. July 31st, 2019 is when I would finally receive the rank of shodan, or 1st degree black belt. I had wanted this the end of 2017 and partially 2018, so I fought for it hard and hard work does pay off. I had discovered a passion for aikido, so I'm kind of hoping that is where God is calling me, but I will go wherever the Lord wants to lead me.

The fall semester this year. Wow oh wow, I couldn't have asked for a better one. As I have confessed on this blog before, I am the Liberty Batman. Which started in April of this year. Over the summer I noticed one of the followers cosplayed the Red Hood. So I invited him to have access to the account and post as the Red Hood. Over time I had gotten a Nightwing, Spoiler, Orphan, Batgirl, and Azrael. So we created the Liberty Batfamily. And this has ultimately become the absolute best friend group I have ever been a part of. I don't say that to just say that. It's because we've lasted a whole semester (so time wise we're doing great) plus we're all like-minded it would seem and all are good friends. This semester was also a whirlwind. Between crushing on someone who initially was only a follower of the Batman account, to getting the beans spilled, to also getting to her better and now (to my heart's content) be best friends with her. I couldn't have asked for a better semester with great and best friends. All of this makes this decade worth it.

Conclusion:
First off when I say that last sentence "makes this decade worth it", truth be told, I have not been in the best places over these past couple of years. Honestly, there have been times when for just the briefest of moments I had contemplated suicide. Because I had felt lost. Because I didn't know where my life was headed. Because I had been failing academically for a semester or two and I felt guilt and shame. But there was my God to get me through it all. Each time the Devil would tempt me "just end it all, no worries about failing classes, or not knowing where your life goes", my Lord my God would intervene. It's not like He spoke with a loud booming voice or anything I could strictly identify as Him, but He spoke through loved ones, and gave me reassurances. Through my sister texting me out of worry and said "Geoff, I love you". Through my former resident shepherd, Marcus, when he surprise visited the hall this semester, because God knows of the bond Marcus and I have.

So yes, I've had dark moments. I've dealt with the worst parts of my life thus far. I know the bad is not done yet because the Devil wants to win, but I know that there's a God who has me in His plans, in His hands, and never has forsaken me. It excites me to follow Him and go where He wants me to go.

2020 is going to be an amazing year, and the 2020's is going to be an amazing decade. I have the best people as my friends, and the God of the universe on my side, fighting for me.

So cheers, 2019. Thank you for being my childhood. For being half of my life. For giving me the lows that I may learn how to rise. Because as Thomas Wayne asks to be repeated by Alfred Pennyworth later, "Why do we fall, Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves back up." It's a powerful quote. And I thank God for allowing me to fall so that I may seek after Him to get back up. To rise.

Deshi basara..... He rises.