This Day Extracts A Heavy Toll

Well perhaps not this day exactly because the timestamp will be for Thursday, Sept 19 since it's after midnight, but whatever. The title works and is a meme, but this post will sadly not be a meme.

Wednesday nights, for those who don't go to LU, are nights in which there is hall meeting followed by what's called community groups. During groups, we would talk about what was discussed during campus community, but I never go for whatever reason. I probably should go, I can definitely make the time for it, but who knows?

Anyhow, at the end of groups, we state any prayer requests and close in prayer. Given that a week ago, I managed to say something about then potentially, and now confirmed feelings for a girl, they asked for an update. I gave them the abridged version (is that the right term? Whatever means shortened and lacking in detail). I don't feel comfortable sharing every detail just yet, as everything has happened so fast. I still need time to process everything, and probably some more workouts to iron things out, literally and metaphorically, and of course pun intended.

The heaviness that I refer to in the title stems from the part in which after sharing a slight update, I felt this heaviness. This sadness. This, I don't know? I'm not really sure why I felt this way. I felt as if I had lost something precious to me. That I had missed a great opportunity or something like that.

There's really no need for that train of thought because I came to an understanding with this POI, and we both now know the direction we seek after, and I suppose it wasn't ruled out as a possibility if everything goes according to plan for our own personal growth and development. I mean at least it wasn't explicitly said that the possibility was ruled out.

Not to say that I'm guaranteed for it to work out anyways, or that I'm going to chase after it with fervor or anything, or even as simple as hoping it still works, but you know, it's definitely available still, just on a delay if it ever does come to fruition.

I don't know what's going on, and I need to figure out what I'm going to do with myself from here on out.