Am I Vain?

It just dawned on me that no matter how much I claim to not be vain and how much I hate being vain, that I may indeed be vain.

Like think about it. My last post focused on my eczema. Granted it really irritated me today, but the focus was kinda on the physical appearance of my hands and feet as a result of having eczema.

Then I've also been really focused in on my working out. I mean working out is great and all, what with good heart health and maintaining a physical fitness for optimal living conditions, but I also have been focusing on cutting down on my fat and building a leaner physique. That is good to have a goal for my fitness, but that's also kinda focused on appearance as well. I mean if I just wanted pure strength, who cares about what my body fat percentages are, or how much fat it looks like I have. Muscles still function underneath all the visceral fat. So leaning out is kinda vain.

I guess I just hate the way I look. I don't know why. I just have this idea as well that I'm ugly and that no one would date me. All of this isn't helping my self esteem or my confidence. But oh well, what am I to do?