Arrogance

 To think it took this long to finally realize it about myself, but I guess as the saying goes, "better late than never." The only problem is will I actually do anything about it so as to improve myself and not be just hot air spewing from my mouth. To really let what I do define me, not who I say I am underneath ;)

Recently, I've had to work with a new hire whose age is near triple my own. A person who has never worked in foodservice and didn't really know the ins and outs of health and safety guidelines for a food industry. But then if you think about it, I knew nothing myself about 8 months ago.

Maybe it is partially due to immaturity since I am only 21. Not to say that's an excuse, but the fact is there. I am immature still and honestly probably will be for a little while until I work on myself more. Anyhow, I noticed that I had this subconscious arrogance about myself. I would think to myself "x is so obvious, how does this guy who is 60+ not understand it?" But think, Geoff, you didn't know much of anything when you started, so why would you think someone in a similar position as yourself (at the start) would know any better? Just because they have 40 years of life on you? I mean sure, some things are common sense, but if you never had to deal with it, why would you know?

So I realized that sometimes in the heat of the moment, during the lunch rush, I would get so easily flustered or agitated towards this coworker because of something I thought was easy to understand but in reality is trivial if no one properly taught him how to do it. For example, something random like the "giant" sized BLT would get 12 strips of bacon, but how would you know that it gets that many if you never put a BLT together? That also wouldn't be the only thing either. I would find other things that would be a point of me being rude towards him, and then it isn't until hours later, when I am home and have wound down from work that I realize "maybe I shouldn't be such a butt to him." Because in all honesty if someone were to treat me the way I treated him when I started, I probably would have quit. And what gives me any authority? The fact that I worked for 1,000+ hours at this store now? No, that's no excuse.

It turns out that this coworker is being transferred to another store because I suppose that's where they need him more, so I decided to apologize for my negative attitude towards him. As I suspected, he was able to see right through me from when I was being cross or being kind. He was being polite about it and said that "it's okay, in the heat of the moment things can become irritating when you have to train a new person," as well as, "had I been in your shoes, I'd probably do the same." I sort of doubt he would exactly be the same, but maybe he was trying to help me feel better? I'm not sure. The point is I was mean, and unnecessarily so, towards this guy who was just trying to earn an honest living, and I guess I let it all get to my head because I'm ever so slowly working towards a promotion (yeah I don't know why that's taking forever to get put through), or whatever other reason contributes to it all.

What I need to do for my future is to remember where I started; to remember where I've been. To acknowledge that different people have different knowledges and wisdoms in various and differing areas of expertise. That just because something seems obvious to me, doesn't mean it's obvious. I work the industry, so naturally I'd know about it. But someone new wouldn't know much or anything about it. I need to work on being kinder and to slow my temper just because someone isn't learning as fast as I'd like them to. It also gets me wondering, how many other people have I turned sour towards myself because I thought I knew everything and gave off arrogant vibes. Maybe some of my fallouts in the past (more than just this year's too) has been because of my arrogance.

To better myself for myself and for the people in and around my life, I want to start making a better effort to watch what I say and how I act, especially as I am considered for various leadership positions in various areas of my life. What kind of leader is arrogant and has no regard for those just starting in a similar position the leader once was in?

Time to sharpen myself up and time to make myself a better man. To work more towards being heroic, like I dream and desire to be.