Together

I'm just chilling today to just have a day of low effort and time to zone out completely and rest. I know that in reality the 38.5 hours I worked this week is still not the same as the 40 hours I once worked, but I guess the 12.5 hour shift I worked on Thursday took a bigger toll on me than expected.

Anyways, as I go to relax and just chill for the night, we're watching various music videos of for KING & COUNTRY, and the first one we watched was of their latest release, "Together". In that song, it has powerful messages of uniting as one and understanding everything is happening for everyone else. That we aren't as alone as we think we are.

Before I continue, here are the lyrics to the song:

This is for the busted heart
This is for the question marks
This is for the outcast soul
Lost control, no one knows
Sing it for the can't-go-back
Sing it for the broken past
Sing it for the just found out
Life is now upside down

If you're lookin' for hope tonight, raise your hand
If you feelin' alone and don't understand
If you're fightin' in the fight of your life, then stand
We're gonna make it through this hand-in-hand

And if we fall, we will fall together
Together

This is for the second chance
This is for the new romance
Sing it for the loved in vain
Overcame, it's not too late

If you're lookin' for hope tonight, raise your hand
If you feelin' alone and don't understand
If you're fightin' in the fight of your life, then stand
We're gonna make it through this hand-in-hand

And if we fall, we will fall together
Together (together, together)
Oh, and when we rise, we will rise together
Together, ooh

We will rise together, ooh
Listen
If you're lookin' for hope tonight (and you're all alone)
If you're feelin' alone tonight (can you feel?)
If you're in the fight of your life (I can promise)
We're gonna make it happen, yeah
I will be by your side (by your side)
'Cause love is in the air tonight (can you feel it?)
All up and see the light (come on!)
Whenever, ever, ever
Just as long as we're together, say

If we fall (fall), we will fall together
Ha ha, I got you, my brother
Together (together)
I see you my sister
And when we rise, we will rise together
Together (oh)

If we fall (if we fall), we will fall together
Take my hand (together)
Come and stand
When we rise (when we rise)
We will rise together (we will rise together)
Together (that's right!)

Together we are dangerous
Together with our differences
Together we are bolder, braver, stronger

The part that really got to me enough to write a blog post is the line that mentions "the second chance" and the "new romance." I felt it because of how events of this year have passed and I just have moments where I wonder how different things could have been. I know I need to move on, and I think I'm in the process of doing so. I think I'm in the process of healing, but I don't think any level of moving on, of healing, will ever make these thoughts and wishes go away.

When I point out the parts of the lyrics that strike me so, it's not so much that I'm stuck in the past, but just wondering. I know that odds are a "new romance" for me and past people I have had feelings (or more) for. I know that to even think of that as a possibility would be to hold me back and not progress to wherever I am destined to go, whoever I am destined to become. The idea behind this part of the lyrics is that I just gotta keep on pressing forwards and trust that a day will come where I can find my new romance. Where I can find someone I can love and be with. Side note: it is getting harder and harder as the days go on and on. The whole social distancing and uncertainty of how I can make new connections, friendships, relationships, etc., makes me yearn for connection. And I don't know why, but lately I've been feeling more and more for a relationship. To have someone I could consider joining with forever.

Then there's the lyrics of the "second chance". I know I've had a second chance for some already. I know I've even thrown that away because I took things to heart, or taken things too seriously or too harshly and scaled them way out of proportion. That I have made mountains out of molehills. So I guess for me, it's more about wondering about that third chance. But I know that if you even have to consider a third chance, likely story is that the end is there and you must let go. Don't cling on anymore as that's disallowing for a chance to grow and a chance for something new to start, as I have written about not too long ago. I guess might as well be specific since I'm never subtle and what good does it do to try to conceal my true thoughts about things. I mean after all that's the point of this blog.

So yeah, I occasionally wonder about reconnecting with Sophia. I mean I still follow her on TikTok and Instagram, heck, I even follow her sister on Instagram. I'm still friends with her on Facebook, and I just wonder if I could get that chance to tell her I accept her apology she sent me over a month ago now, and to tell her I forgive her for the wording she chose (hence the apology she sent), and to apologize myself for being immature about taking that message as casting me out, when in reality I'm nowhere near innocent of the behavior. I cast her out when things started getting heated and my world began to crumble down around me. I know I shan't blame myself for it anymore and just take it for what it is and learn from those mistakes. If I just stay stuck in blaming myself and never truly learn from the weight of my actions, I'll never understand how words cut deeper than a blade and I'll never grow.

With all of that being said, I need to just relax and trust that everything is all a part of the process and that I will grow and find my way through these trials and tribulations that I face. Through all of the uncertainties and unknowns of this year.

What a time to be alive, I suppose.