The Plan [Update]

I've been thinking since I have quite a bit of time to think, what with not being able to go and do things much more than get groceries or do something outside at home, that I'm going to make adjustments to my plan. These adjustments would account for the recent feelings of wanting to forgive.

With the added time at home, I decided I want to start exercising again. That way I can stay in shape and feel good about myself, about my body, and just get the benefits of exercising. For example, today I played some wiffle ball with my sister, just roamed around the backyard, got plenty of sunshine, then I did a bit of bodyweight core and leg exercises, followed by a run on the treadmill, and then more outdoors time ultimately ending up in catch with my sister and my father.

All in all, as of 7:42 p.m., here's how my Fitbit stats look:

Pretty darn good for someone who stayed at home all day. I feel pretty good and the endorphins and all the neurotransmitters make me feel good. Also, I read a brief article explaining studies show that regular exercise, even just walking, can lead to lower stress, anxiety, and hostility. So it all helps me to grow and develop and make myself better than before. Better than the version of me that I hate and kick myself for. The one that I blame for this year's earlier, shall we say, unfortunate turn of events.

What I plan to do is to keep exercise regular in my life to hopefully experience more of these benefits and make them long term benefits instead of just boosters here and there. I feel like that lowering negative feelings can help me feel happier and feel like I can heal. I can't heal if I'm unhappy and being semi-depressed about things.

Another change to the plans is that I want to wait until I am ready to truly forgive everyone I had thought about. I had thought about accepting Sophia's apology and forgiving her for the perceived wrong (even though she really didn't wrong me), and now I want to wait until I can truly forgive Dan. In all honesty, I won't be able to do the whole forgive and forget, at least not at this moment, but I want to be able to forgive him and not feel negative feelings or anger or anything whenever I think of him. It's rare that he comes to mind, but certain things do remind me of the fun we shared together and I don't want to feel like poison all the sudden enters my veins when he appears in my thoughts.

With all that being said, most of the previous criteria listed in the post "The Plan" (in case you missed it, here) will still be in effect, but now with slight changes and new criteria before I go about publishing the post of apologies and wants to begin the forgiving process as I had previously mentioned.

Here's to some beneficial changes to my life, and hopefully more growth and development as a man, as a person, and hopefully in my maturity as well.