We went for about an hour and a half, going a total of 3.69 miles (nice). That brought my total steps for the day to over 20,000 and in tandem with my 200 push ups in the day, I felt pretty good about my physical activity levels. I took some nice pictures of the town, in all the stillness and the beauty of the sun setting.
Ain't it pretty?
So anyways, at some point in our loop, we walked literally around the building that was my middle school. And it was very odd. I hadn't returned to that middle school since the end of my 8th grade year, I think. Or at least not walked on the campus so to speak, save for attending my younger sister's graduation. I mean, I guess that makes sense for me to not return. But not even to visit old teachers or anything. Then again, I never really was one of the people to visit any of my alma mater's (that's the term right?).
The other part to it all is that middle school brings back bad memories. It's the few years of my life when I got bullied. I was made fun of for my rather heavier build. I think I was around 180 pounds at a short 5'5", maybe 5'6". Now I'm a bit under 200, weighing in today at 198.3 pounds, but I am also now 5'11", and I semi-regularly do strength training, so naturally I'll bulk. Not to say I'm super strong or super muscular, but just that I'm not exactly at such a high body fat percentage as I once was. Granted I never measured my body fat percentage in middle school, but I imagine I'm way lower now than back then. I could barely run a 14 minute mile (approximately just over 4 mph) back then, and that time is just a pretty brisk walk or a mild hustle for me. I can easily do a 9:30 mile outdoors, and on a treadmill, I can easily do an 8:34 (7 mph).
I also got into the one and only fight of my life there. And it wasn't much of a fight. Still bad that it happened. A couple exchanges of blows, and I got suspended for "starting the fight" meanwhile I just wanted to take vengeance for getting kicked in the knee.
I do have to admit I have a couple of good memories, like halfway through 8th grade, I started making better friends who wouldn't make fun of me. I don't know what took me so long to get out of those bad friend groups, but I guess it was shaping me in a ways. I don't know off the top of my head in what way, but I have a feeling it must have shaped me one way or another.
Just walking around the school, not even entering it, brought back so many memories. So many flashbacks even. Painted as brightly as if I were standing there experiencing it for the first time. I cannot recall any place that brought back such vivid memories, but wow. Maybe that's because I spent 3 years of my life at that place. Maybe because of all those memories, whether good or bad, happened and shaped me during some pretty big developmental years going from age 10 to 13. It's almost hard to believe that all of that was 7 years ago.
It was interesting to experience the power of memory and the power of the human brain. We can forget a lot of things, we can remember a lot of things. Some things are remembered more vividly than others depending on the emotional importance of it. Some require a certain stimulus to be fulfilled before triggering, such as the smell of a Toys R Us, or in the case the location of a place in which I've suppressed my memories.
All in all, I guess what I need to take from all of this is that those years, while they may not have been close to optimal as far as how middle school should have been or could have been, I should be thankful for the experience and see if I can discover anything I was able to learn and use to develop myself into the boy I am today. And sure it might sound odd for me to say "boy", but I just feel I haven't quite reached manhood yet. I feel like I'm on the way to getting there and becoming my own person and my own adult, but I feel that there is just so much I have to learn, so much I have yet to experience, before I can truly call myself a man.
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