Thursday, February 7, 2019

What's wrong with me?

I'm a fucking mess.

Like I don't know why though? I get so easily attached to people because I long for more friends, but then my emotions and outside variables can cause me to throw the whole fucking thing into a fire and watch it all burn.

I don't know why I do that, or why I'm like this.

Maybe people just don't want me.

Maybe people just pity me, so they try to offer a friendship. But out of pity.

I wouldn't blame them. I'm worthless anyways.

Sometimes I wish I could just actually get hit when I'm crossing the street. Maybe life'll be better. Even if I survive, I'd at least have money to do fuck all with. And if I don't survive? Well, then I'll finally get the sweet release of death.

I don't mean to imply I'm going to purposely kill myself. I'm just saying that I wouldn't be mad if I did die sooner rather than later.

I get it, the world is a cruel place. And maybe I just have to power through it. But sometimes, you just gotta think to yourself that maybe this isn't a world worth living in. Not even just for myself and the situations I'm in, but like look at how much of a mess politics cause or international struggles cause.

Ya know what would be fun? The nuclear apocalypse. At least I get to feel like I'm in one of my favorite games before I get incinerated by nuclear fire. That'd be cool. Or I guess technically hot.

Why

Am

I

Like

This?

What the actual fuck is wrong with me?

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