I'm a fucking mess.
Like I don't know why though? I get so easily attached to people because I long for more friends, but then my emotions and outside variables can cause me to throw the whole fucking thing into a fire and watch it all burn.
I don't know why I do that, or why I'm like this.
Maybe people just don't want me.
Maybe people just pity me, so they try to offer a friendship. But out of pity.
I wouldn't blame them. I'm worthless anyways.
Sometimes I wish I could just actually get hit when I'm crossing the street. Maybe life'll be better. Even if I survive, I'd at least have money to do fuck all with. And if I don't survive? Well, then I'll finally get the sweet release of death.
I don't mean to imply I'm going to purposely kill myself. I'm just saying that I wouldn't be mad if I did die sooner rather than later.
I get it, the world is a cruel place. And maybe I just have to power through it. But sometimes, you just gotta think to yourself that maybe this isn't a world worth living in. Not even just for myself and the situations I'm in, but like look at how much of a mess politics cause or international struggles cause.
Ya know what would be fun? The nuclear apocalypse. At least I get to feel like I'm in one of my favorite games before I get incinerated by nuclear fire. That'd be cool. Or I guess technically hot.
Why
Am
I
Like
This?
What the actual fuck is wrong with me?
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