I suppose that to an extent, this whole celebration of the New Year is more symbolic than actually meaning anything. It definitely allows for some people to sit down and reflect on what elapsed over the last 365 (or 366) days. Maybe it gives some people closure. Maybe it provides some degree of hope. Maybe it provides peace. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
It seems that as my life goes on, time goes by faster and faster. And perhaps that is simply a result of the perception of time and how just by existing for longer, percentage wise every year is a smaller and smaller portion of my total life lived. When you're 10, each year makes up 10% of your life. When I started this blog, I was 19, so each year represented about 5.26% of my life. Going into 2023, I am (currently) 23, so now each year is about 4.35% of my life. I suppose the decrease is diminishing as it takes more and more years to lower that percentage, but just something to note.
I have felt as if this year was... a lot but also not too much at the same time. It felt like I got something done and that I had achieved some things, while also feeling like I had no time to really slow it down and admire the place that I was when I started the year and seeing where I am now. To sum things up, I completed 2 more semesters of community college, with the latter being more successful than the former. I also started a new job because I also took on the responsibility and obligation to pay for my own car and the car's insurance and gas, so I needed a positive income flow. I kept up with my weightlifting and even ramped up the frequency of training to net me into some pretty nifty new personal records. I still am single after all this time, but I've learned that confidence is not something I really have to try to learn, it is simply learning to just trust myself and embrace who I am. Okay sure there still is some learning, but it's not as intense as all of the overthinking that I have done would make me think it was. So if you've been around the blog, you'd have known I was able to muster up the 5 seconds of courage to go ask out the prettiest girl in the room. Sure it didn't ultimately amount to anything, but that's okay. Kind of a shame it didn't pan out and how she stopped communicating, but I suppose it's not truly she wants to avoid me or never see me again because she also happened to occasionally interact with my social media stuff again, so I'm not sure what's going on. To not belabor that point, I figure if she wants something she can just even say or text me hello. She's busy and so am I. If something is to happen, I'm sure it will in due time. Either that or I'll find someone who is ready and wants to start something. The important thing is to focus on myself and make the most and the best of what's dealt to me and to look forward to what is to come.
All in all, I have to say that I think 2022 was better than 2021. And yes 2021 was better than 2020, but if you were here since 2020 or earlier, you'd know that even 2019 and 2020 weren't my best years, but look where I am now. Going into 2023, I'll try to keep on improving myself, keep on loving myself, and just being me. I don't care what the world necessarily glorifies as what a man should be, but I will make myself as best as possible and from there.... just live life.
So this is my anthem, this is my calling. I will be better, I will do better, I will be more intentional, and I will be less serious about things that ultimately don't matter and just focus on what does matter. What does matter is something I'm not 100% certain of just yet, but I'll figure it out. I do not know how often I will be here to blog. I may do the same thing like I did in 2020 where eventually I just don't post for months, or maybe I'll be back to post at least once a month, who knows. Whatever 2023 brings, I'll do my best.
